Spoof Fanfic

Hello again, Lady V here! This was my first venture into the fanfic world and as ususal I had to put my own spin on it, So welcome to my first spoof-fic. What would happen in a fanfic if the boys KNEW they were in Fanfic? I think it may go a little something like this...

Nick and the Alien abduction

Nick was sat in his back yard Blackberry in hand, it was Saturday night and he was bored, really, really bored…

TWEET: BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED

If only something exciting would happen he thought to himself looking up at the sky. I wasn’t in last week’s fanfic. Maybe I could get an incurable disease and fight the odds and survive… nah been there done that. Maybe I could discover a hot chick that has no idea who I am… Nah. Maybe I could have a huge friendship ending bust up with Brian… no, not this week anyway. Maybe I should call Howie for some filler dialogue… hmm, I’m not that desperate right now. I’ve got it! I’ve got it; a traumatic life changing event that no one saw coming… ohhh….. no I’m just not in that kind of mood tonight.

TWEET: Is there anyone out there? Brok? Jizzle? D? I’m bored

There was a loud whooshing noise and a large round Alien spacecraft lands on the grass in front of him. Nick became very excited

TWEET: There’s an Alien space ship landing in my back yard

The alien that emerged was grotesque, it had a slimy grey human shaped body with two legs and two arms but it had three heads. The head in the middle had a huge black eye with huge eyelashes, the heads either side had an ear on each of them and its mouth was on its stomach and oozing some kind of yellow slime.

TWEET: This is so freaking awesome

“This is so freaking cool! Take me to your leader” shouted Nick, jumping up and holding his fingers up in a peace sign

TWEET: I’m being abducted by aliens’ man…. Sweet

“We have come to earth to find us a handsome specimen of man” Said the alien in a robotic sounding voice “we need to repopulate our planet… our Manlings are all dying”

TWEET: She wants to have my babies
TWEET: oh shit.
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Meanwhile somewhere in Kentucky:
Brian logs onto his twitter,

FRILLNECK: Check out my porn! Dirty beyatch! www.dirtyslutswithfriends.net

“AJ what is the matter with you?” sighed Brian as he typed

BRIANLITRELL: @Frillneck do you do anything other than jack off in your free time?

Brian scans down the page….

HOWIE_D: Are you ready for some filler dialogue yet?

“Howie Howie Howie… why must you always do this?” Sighed Brian

BRIANLITRELL: @ Howie_D Epic fail dude

Brian scans down a little further…

KEVINRICHARDSON: There are 3,344,672 blades of grass on my lawn

“whaaaaaaat?” laughs Brian

BRIANLITRELL: @KevinRichardson you need to get out more cousin!

Then…

NICKCARTER: BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED
NICKCARTER: Is there anyone out there? Brok? Jizzle? D? I’m bored
NICKCARTER: Theres an Alien space ship landing in my back yard
NICKCARTER: This is so freaking awesome
NICKCARTER: I’m being abducted by aliens’ man…. Sweet”
NICKCARTER: She wants to have my babies
NICKCARTER: oh shit.

“For crying out loud” said Brian shaking his head, “what the hell is he on? Hey Leighanne come and have a look at what Mr Tweetaholics chirping about now”

BRIANLITTRELL: @Nickcarter yeah ok whatever you weirdo chirp!

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Back in Nick’s backyard:

“you will come back to our planet with us” said the alien

“Listen… I don’t know if this is such a good idea” said Nick backing away “I’m really not that sexy… well I am actually… but that’s not the point.”

“You will come back to our planet with us” Repeated the alien in a monotone voice

“I’m not after any real commitment right now…” began Nick, The alien, interrupted and gestured towards the space craft “we have Nintendo”

“sweeeeeeeeet” screamed Nick running towards the ship

TWEET: They have Nintendo… Goodbye Earth
TWEET: @ BrianLittrell…. prick

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Brian was still sitting at his computer desk

NICKCARTER: They have Nintendo… Goodbye earth
NICKCARTER: @Brianlittrell Prick

Brian was filled with panic… Maybe Nick had another terminal illness? Maybe he’s discovered another love child? Either way Nick was OBVIOUSLY having some kind of crisis and was in need of saving with some brotherly, Christian advice and a huge scene where they hug each other and say “I love you man!”. In a heterosexual way obviously… because this is NOT a slash fic like last week.

Brianlittrell: @ Nickcarter… Im coming Nick… I’ll save you!

As Brian went to log out he noticed another tweet

FRILLNECK: @ BrianLittrell Ask Nick if the Aliens have porn

“I have no time for this!” Shouted Brian dramatically “I must save Nick….. again”

BRIANLITTRELL: @Frillneck Who do you think you are exactly in fan-fic land?? QUAGMIRE???”

Brian shuddered as he remembered what happened with Him and AJ in the fan-fic world last week in “AROK-PDA”. Cringing Brian turns off his monitor in disgust, god we have some fucked up fans. He runs to the front door shouting…
“Leighanne!!!!! I’m off to save Nick again… GOTTA GO!”

-----------

Nick was in a whole world of trouble as usual, He was strapped to a metal table with medical equipment all around him. “Hello?” he called to the empty room “Hello! I was told there was Nintendo? Somebody? ANYBODY?” his blackberry was mysteriously still in his right hand. He squinted to make out twitter from a distance…

BRIANLITTRELL: @ NickCarter… Im coming! I’ll save you!

Nick sighed… “I must resist his attempts to save me from myself/a woman/illegal substances/inner demons/aliens despite the fact that the bastard is always right in the end.”

NICKCARTER: @Brianlittrell I don’t need you bitch! I don’t need anyone! Stop judging me! I hate you!

Nick smiled “that’ll do it”

----------

Brian had managed to get to Nicks house from Kentucky in under an hour, with no mention of packing, a plane flight, hand luggage or how he got there from the airport. Its times like this Brian loved being in fanfiction! He couldn’t find Nick so opened his laptop:

NICKCARTER @BrianLittrell I don’t need you bitch! I don’t need anyone! Stop judging me! I hate you!

Brian was devastated and cried dramatically, on his knees for about an hour. “Nick, why every time I try to save you must you hurt me so! It’s ok! I am your one true BFF! I love you anyway!” Brian then prayed for Nick for another hour. Before wandering off trying to find Nick in the garden.

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Nick wasn’t happy! “HELLO?” he screamed “I think there’s been some kind of mistake!” what the hell is going on he thought! Where were the Aliens… I mean they have less dialoge than Howie! “If you want it good girls get yourself a bad boy!” he shouted “AJ lives in Las Vegas… I could take you there! I mean he must be pretty fertile; he has more love children in fan-fic world than I’ll ever have…. HELLO!”

NICKCARTER: @ FrillNeck you would love this shit man! The Aliens are into bondage.

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Brian looked up at the spaceship conveniently parked in Nick’s back yard and prayed. He was walking in slowly whilst checking around him for Aliens when he got a txt on his phone… “aaaaaaah” shouted Brian jumping in panic

“Hello Brian! I’m just off into the bathroom and I wont be mentioned again for the rest of the story, just thought you should know! Howie”

“This is NOT the time for filler dialoge Howie!” screamed Brian at his phone while frantically searching for Nick. He walked up to a door it slid open to reveal Nick Tied to a table. “Oh this was easy!” laughed Brian, Nick wasn’t amused “Shut up and save me prick I’ve been stuck here for an hour while you have been praying”
Brian untied Nick and his Blackberry and they ran out of the spaceship and into Nicks house, they bolted the door behind them. Nick emotionally hugs Brian “thanks Rok! You saved me again from certain doom, you are awesome man”. Brian hugged Nick back “It’s ok man, there is nothing worth losing our friendship… I love you!” There was a loud whoosh outside as the space craft took off.

AJ was sitting in his backyard on his laptop when there was a loud whooshing sound. There was an Alien spacecraft hovering over him

NICKCARTER: @ FrillNeck you would love this shit man! The Aliens are into bondage.

AJ looked up and smirked “Really… hmmm”