So for the second time around... What would happen if the boys KNEW they were in fanfic?
I think it would go a little something like this....
Howie was sat in the bathroom; he had been there for well over 3 months, and was getting a bit angry.
“Why?” he said to himself with a sigh
“Why must I have to go to the bathroom and never come out in every single fan-fiction? Even when I don’t need to pee!”
He slapped himself on the forehead
“Now I’m talking to myself… for god’s sake! Well I’m not taking this shit anymore… I am going to provide more than filler dialogue dam it! I’M going to save Nick, I am going to have a huge bust up with Brian and twitter a lot and what the hell… I’m going to have sex with one of AJ’s girlfriends, get drunk and have a secret love child! It’s time for some stealth D action!”
Brian drummed his fingers on the bar… the silence was rather awkward… he looked up at Nick and then back down again, it was very quiet. AJ and his lady-friend walked over with some drinks
“Something’s missing” said AJ sitting down at the bar next to Nick
“Where’s Howie?”
“Oh shit!” gasped Nick
“He went into the bathroom a few months back in the last fan-fic, he must still be in there!”
The boys looked at each other horrified… Brian began to pray.
The bathroom door flew open with a bang and Howie marched out…
AJ stood up “Howie… man… we errr…”
BANG Howie punched AJ in the face and he fell on the floor, he grabbed AJ’s drink and downed it in one, followed by Nicks, then Brian’s. He grabbed AJ’s girlfriend and kissed her passionately. Nick and Brian sat frozen to their seats. Howie took AJ’s girlfriend by the hand and walked out of the bar with her, enjoying his AJ moment.
“Whhhaar the fnuck” said AJ who was still lying on the floor rubbing his jaw.
“He drank my drink!” he said sitting on his chair
“He took your girlfriend” said Nick gesturing to the empty chair
“He took my DRINK!” said AJ gesturing to his glass
“And your girlfriend” added Nick
“Drink” said AJ pulling a sad face
“GIRLFRIEND!” shouted Nick
“DRI…”
“SHUT UP!” shouted Brian dramatically
“This is not like Howie… Maybe he has a terminal illness? Maybe he’s discovered a love child? Maybe he’s going to have a massive friendship ending bust up with us”
“Brian” said Nick calmly “this is HOWIE… not me”
“I know that!” sighed Brian “Either way Howie was OBVIOUSLY having some kind of crisis and is in need of saving with some brotherly, Christian advice”
Nick shook his head at what was going on around him
“Hang on a minute!” shouted AJ “he took my girlfriend!”
Nick shook his head again…. “this must be what its like to be Howie” he said to himself “Hang on! why do I feel the sudden urge to go to the bathroom?”
“No NICK NOOOOO!” cried Brian “fight the urge… don’t do it we wont see you for the next 3 months”
“must. Go. To. The. Bathroom.” Said Nick getting up and walking towards it
“No Nick! Please!” cried Brian
“let me know if you need any filler dialogue” said Nick as he disappeared into the bathroom. Brian broke down in tears on his knees dramatically
“WHY?” he sobbed
“I dunno man” said AJ putting his hand on Brian’s shoulder “but there’s some weird shit going on here, we better go find Howie”
Howie had the hang over from hell… his head was banging so hard he struggled to open his eyes. When he did he was in bed, AJ’s naked girlfriend was asleep next to him and bondage gear and empty bottles of Jack Daniels were littered around his room…
“So this is what its like to be fan-fic AJ” he thought to himself gagging at the sight of the ashtray next to him.
“I like this, but I don’t feel so good”
He picked up his blackberry
“OK, Time for a little bit of a Nick moment” he smiled
BRIAN LITTRELL: @HOWIED We are worried about you man, don’t worry I will save you
“no you wont” laughed Howie “because it’s time for a friendship ending bust up”
HOWIED: @BRIANLITTELL I hate you! Why don’t you just f**k off and die
“See! I’m much better at this than Nick” he laughed
KEVINRICHARDSON: There are less than 3, 344,672 blades of grass on my lawn now; the dog dug a big hole in it. Will start again 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8…..
“Remind me never ever to have a Kevin moment” said Howie shaking his head
FRILLNECK: @HOWIED where are you? Where is my girlfriend?
Howie laughed
HOWIED: @FRILLNECK AJ I did your girlfriend last night… deal with it bitch
He scrolled down and read some more.
NICKCARTER: @HOWIED I’m off to the bathroom for the rest of the story just thought you should know, let me know if you need any filler dialogue.
Howie felt a pang of guilt at Nicks tweet…
“NO!” he said to himself jumping out of bed
“I will NOT feel guilty…NEVER! I may well be sick though” he said running in the direction of the bathroom. As he came out his phone was ringing… it was AJ
“yes that’s right bitch I did your girlfriend!” he said as he shouted as he answered
“what are you going to do about it!”
“Howie you had better forget about that…” said AJ
“come down to the hospital… its Brian”
Howie sat by Brian’s bedside praying….
“So this is what its like to be fan-fic Brian” Howie said to himself.
“Although its usually Nick in the hospital. I was hoping to skip Brian and just be AJ with a little Nick tweeting”
He dramatically dropped to his knees and cried
“Please Brian don’t leave me your friendship is everything to me, If only I hadn’t had to do a Nick and have a huge bust up with you, I feel so bad right now”
A doctor walked into the room
“Your results are back from your tests Mr Dorough” said the doctor
“Tests… what tests?” squealed Howie.
The doctor looked at him seriously
“You have a very severe case of Bathroom-dependency, if you do not return to the bathroom I’m afraid it will become terminal and you will die!”
“So this is what its like to be fan-fic Nick… I have an incurable illness, I’d better go into remission by the end of this.” said Howie angrily
Suddenly A slutty looking woman walked through the door…
“Howie I’m Candy the stripper you slept with a year ago, I would like you to meet your son Howie Jnr… I know you said our love could never work because I’m a stripper and Brian and Kevin didn’t approve but…”
“AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Another AJ moment” Screamed Howie running from the room
“I don’t like this! Now I’m starting to get the urge to count blades of grass! NOOOO! I must do a Brian and save Nick from the bathroom because he’s OBVIOUSLY having some kind of crisis and is in need of saving with some brotherly, Christian advice.”
Howie paused for a moment shocked
“Why do I have the sudden urge to scream GOTTA GO!??”
HOWIED: @NICKCARTER I’m coming to save you!
Howie managed to get to the bar from his home in under an hour, with no mention of packing, a plane flight, hand luggage or how he got there from the airport.
“wow… Brian has this travelling thing easy in fan-fic”
He sat on a bench outside and got out his blackberry to check out www.dirtyslutswithfriends.net, because he felt like an AJ moment, but he got distracted by twitter.
NICKCARTER @HowieD I don’t need you bitch! I don’t need anyone! Stop judging me! I saw what you tweeted Brian! I hate you! I’m in this bathroom and there isn’t even a Nintendo! Is THAT enough filler Dialogue for you Prick?!”
Howie had no idea why, but he was devastated. He cried dramatically, on his knees for about an hour.
“Nick, why every time Brian tries to save you must you hurt him so! It’s ok! He is your one true BFF! He loves you anyway!”
Howie sat on the floor smacking him self in the head
“God it really sucks being Brian… I’ve got to snap out of this! OOOH grass… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not Kevin!!!!!!” he screamed
“I need to go back to the bathroom NOW!”
Howie looked around him, the slutty woman was walking down the street towards him holding a baby, AJ’s girlfriend was walking towards him from the other direction.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH” he screamed
Howie ran into the bar and straight into the bathroom, he bumped into Nick with a thud and they both fell on the floor. Nick emotionally hugged Howie
“Thanks D! You saved me from certain doom, you are awesome man”.
Howie hugged Nick back
“It’s ok man; there is nothing worth losing our friendship… I love you! Hang on a minute… SCREW THIS! WHAT THE HELL, GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM!”
“Jesus! Take a chill pill D! Its all yours” said Nick backing away
“Here” he handed Howie a letter “the doctor said I needed to give this to you”
With that Nick walked out of the bathroom. Howie opened the letter and read it.
“I’m in remission! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!” he screamed dancing around the hand basins.
“I’ve never been so happy” sighed Howie
“I am so glad to be back in the bathroom… things are back to how they should be. Maybe it’s not so bad being fan-fic Howie, I mean filler dialogues still quite important.”
Howie sat down “I wonder what trauma the boys are going through right now.”
Brian drummed his fingers on the bar… the silence was rather awkward… he looked up at Nick and then back down again, they were done talking about Nicks latest incurable disease, it was very quiet. AJ and his lady-friend walked over with some drinks, they had all had a huge fight about AJ’s alcoholism and secret love child.
“Something’s missing” said AJ sitting down at the bar next to Nick
“oh shit” gasped Nick “We need some filler dialogue! OH NO!”
All three boys looked at each other in utter panic
“Screw the glass, give me the WHOLE bottle of Jack Daniels” yelled AJ to the bar man
“I don’t want to go into remission this time” said Nick “cant I just die… here… now”
The bathroom door slowly began to open…
The boys looked at each other horrified… Brian began to pray
“Why?” he said to himself with a sigh
“Why must I have to go to the bathroom and never come out in every single fan-fiction? Even when I don’t need to pee!”
He slapped himself on the forehead
“Now I’m talking to myself… for god’s sake! Well I’m not taking this shit anymore… I am going to provide more than filler dialogue dam it! I’M going to save Nick, I am going to have a huge bust up with Brian and twitter a lot and what the hell… I’m going to have sex with one of AJ’s girlfriends, get drunk and have a secret love child! It’s time for some stealth D action!”
Brian drummed his fingers on the bar… the silence was rather awkward… he looked up at Nick and then back down again, it was very quiet. AJ and his lady-friend walked over with some drinks
“Something’s missing” said AJ sitting down at the bar next to Nick
“Where’s Howie?”
“Oh shit!” gasped Nick
“He went into the bathroom a few months back in the last fan-fic, he must still be in there!”
The boys looked at each other horrified… Brian began to pray.
The bathroom door flew open with a bang and Howie marched out…
AJ stood up “Howie… man… we errr…”
BANG Howie punched AJ in the face and he fell on the floor, he grabbed AJ’s drink and downed it in one, followed by Nicks, then Brian’s. He grabbed AJ’s girlfriend and kissed her passionately. Nick and Brian sat frozen to their seats. Howie took AJ’s girlfriend by the hand and walked out of the bar with her, enjoying his AJ moment.
“Whhhaar the fnuck” said AJ who was still lying on the floor rubbing his jaw.
“He drank my drink!” he said sitting on his chair
“He took your girlfriend” said Nick gesturing to the empty chair
“He took my DRINK!” said AJ gesturing to his glass
“And your girlfriend” added Nick
“Drink” said AJ pulling a sad face
“GIRLFRIEND!” shouted Nick
“DRI…”
“SHUT UP!” shouted Brian dramatically
“This is not like Howie… Maybe he has a terminal illness? Maybe he’s discovered a love child? Maybe he’s going to have a massive friendship ending bust up with us”
“Brian” said Nick calmly “this is HOWIE… not me”
“I know that!” sighed Brian “Either way Howie was OBVIOUSLY having some kind of crisis and is in need of saving with some brotherly, Christian advice”
Nick shook his head at what was going on around him
“Hang on a minute!” shouted AJ “he took my girlfriend!”
Nick shook his head again…. “this must be what its like to be Howie” he said to himself “Hang on! why do I feel the sudden urge to go to the bathroom?”
“No NICK NOOOOO!” cried Brian “fight the urge… don’t do it we wont see you for the next 3 months”
“must. Go. To. The. Bathroom.” Said Nick getting up and walking towards it
“No Nick! Please!” cried Brian
“let me know if you need any filler dialogue” said Nick as he disappeared into the bathroom. Brian broke down in tears on his knees dramatically
“WHY?” he sobbed
“I dunno man” said AJ putting his hand on Brian’s shoulder “but there’s some weird shit going on here, we better go find Howie”
Howie had the hang over from hell… his head was banging so hard he struggled to open his eyes. When he did he was in bed, AJ’s naked girlfriend was asleep next to him and bondage gear and empty bottles of Jack Daniels were littered around his room…
“So this is what its like to be fan-fic AJ” he thought to himself gagging at the sight of the ashtray next to him.
“I like this, but I don’t feel so good”
He picked up his blackberry
“OK, Time for a little bit of a Nick moment” he smiled
BRIAN LITTRELL: @HOWIED We are worried about you man, don’t worry I will save you
“no you wont” laughed Howie “because it’s time for a friendship ending bust up”
HOWIED: @BRIANLITTELL I hate you! Why don’t you just f**k off and die
“See! I’m much better at this than Nick” he laughed
KEVINRICHARDSON: There are less than 3, 344,672 blades of grass on my lawn now; the dog dug a big hole in it. Will start again 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8…..
“Remind me never ever to have a Kevin moment” said Howie shaking his head
FRILLNECK: @HOWIED where are you? Where is my girlfriend?
Howie laughed
HOWIED: @FRILLNECK AJ I did your girlfriend last night… deal with it bitch
He scrolled down and read some more.
NICKCARTER: @HOWIED I’m off to the bathroom for the rest of the story just thought you should know, let me know if you need any filler dialogue.
Howie felt a pang of guilt at Nicks tweet…
“NO!” he said to himself jumping out of bed
“I will NOT feel guilty…NEVER! I may well be sick though” he said running in the direction of the bathroom. As he came out his phone was ringing… it was AJ
“yes that’s right bitch I did your girlfriend!” he said as he shouted as he answered
“what are you going to do about it!”
“Howie you had better forget about that…” said AJ
“come down to the hospital… its Brian”
Howie sat by Brian’s bedside praying….
“So this is what its like to be fan-fic Brian” Howie said to himself.
“Although its usually Nick in the hospital. I was hoping to skip Brian and just be AJ with a little Nick tweeting”
He dramatically dropped to his knees and cried
“Please Brian don’t leave me your friendship is everything to me, If only I hadn’t had to do a Nick and have a huge bust up with you, I feel so bad right now”
A doctor walked into the room
“Your results are back from your tests Mr Dorough” said the doctor
“Tests… what tests?” squealed Howie.
The doctor looked at him seriously
“You have a very severe case of Bathroom-dependency, if you do not return to the bathroom I’m afraid it will become terminal and you will die!”
“So this is what its like to be fan-fic Nick… I have an incurable illness, I’d better go into remission by the end of this.” said Howie angrily
Suddenly A slutty looking woman walked through the door…
“Howie I’m Candy the stripper you slept with a year ago, I would like you to meet your son Howie Jnr… I know you said our love could never work because I’m a stripper and Brian and Kevin didn’t approve but…”
“AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Another AJ moment” Screamed Howie running from the room
“I don’t like this! Now I’m starting to get the urge to count blades of grass! NOOOO! I must do a Brian and save Nick from the bathroom because he’s OBVIOUSLY having some kind of crisis and is in need of saving with some brotherly, Christian advice.”
Howie paused for a moment shocked
“Why do I have the sudden urge to scream GOTTA GO!??”
HOWIED: @NICKCARTER I’m coming to save you!
Howie managed to get to the bar from his home in under an hour, with no mention of packing, a plane flight, hand luggage or how he got there from the airport.
“wow… Brian has this travelling thing easy in fan-fic”
He sat on a bench outside and got out his blackberry to check out www.dirtyslutswithfriends.net, because he felt like an AJ moment, but he got distracted by twitter.
NICKCARTER @HowieD I don’t need you bitch! I don’t need anyone! Stop judging me! I saw what you tweeted Brian! I hate you! I’m in this bathroom and there isn’t even a Nintendo! Is THAT enough filler Dialogue for you Prick?!”
Howie had no idea why, but he was devastated. He cried dramatically, on his knees for about an hour.
“Nick, why every time Brian tries to save you must you hurt him so! It’s ok! He is your one true BFF! He loves you anyway!”
Howie sat on the floor smacking him self in the head
“God it really sucks being Brian… I’ve got to snap out of this! OOOH grass… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not Kevin!!!!!!” he screamed
“I need to go back to the bathroom NOW!”
Howie looked around him, the slutty woman was walking down the street towards him holding a baby, AJ’s girlfriend was walking towards him from the other direction.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH” he screamed
Howie ran into the bar and straight into the bathroom, he bumped into Nick with a thud and they both fell on the floor. Nick emotionally hugged Howie
“Thanks D! You saved me from certain doom, you are awesome man”.
Howie hugged Nick back
“It’s ok man; there is nothing worth losing our friendship… I love you! Hang on a minute… SCREW THIS! WHAT THE HELL, GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM!”
“Jesus! Take a chill pill D! Its all yours” said Nick backing away
“Here” he handed Howie a letter “the doctor said I needed to give this to you”
With that Nick walked out of the bathroom. Howie opened the letter and read it.
“I’m in remission! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!” he screamed dancing around the hand basins.
“I’ve never been so happy” sighed Howie
“I am so glad to be back in the bathroom… things are back to how they should be. Maybe it’s not so bad being fan-fic Howie, I mean filler dialogues still quite important.”
Howie sat down “I wonder what trauma the boys are going through right now.”
Brian drummed his fingers on the bar… the silence was rather awkward… he looked up at Nick and then back down again, they were done talking about Nicks latest incurable disease, it was very quiet. AJ and his lady-friend walked over with some drinks, they had all had a huge fight about AJ’s alcoholism and secret love child.
“Something’s missing” said AJ sitting down at the bar next to Nick
“oh shit” gasped Nick “We need some filler dialogue! OH NO!”
All three boys looked at each other in utter panic
“Screw the glass, give me the WHOLE bottle of Jack Daniels” yelled AJ to the bar man
“I don’t want to go into remission this time” said Nick “cant I just die… here… now”
The bathroom door slowly began to open…
The boys looked at each other horrified… Brian began to pray
No comments:
Post a Comment