Backstreet Bunnies - Part 3

Well, Candidate #2 (aka Howie D) seems pretty professional and responsible. Although he seems to have a stalker in this "Nick Carter" character. Let's see what Candidate #3 has to offer ...

And be sure to check back tomorrow to see our FINAL Easter Bunny Candidate.

Candidate #3

Name: Alexander James McLean AKA: AJ, Jizzle, Johnny No Name, Skulleez, Monkee...



DOB: January 9, 1978



Sex: Yes … and a LOT of it with my Monkee!



Height: Ummm … around 5'8 I think ...



Experience: I am an entertainer, have been for years, so I think that counts as experience. What could possibly be different entertaining a bunch of kiddies in an oversized bunny costume? I CAN floor hump in it, right?



Why do you think you would make a good Easter bunny and why do you want this role? Well, despite my tough, outer appearance, I LOVE kids. I’m really good with my friend’s son Baylee … the kid LOVES me!



What does Easter mean to you? I know the whole hoopla surrounding it, but I look forward to time with my family and my Monkee!!



How many carrots do you eat in a week? Probably not very many ... besides, Nick steals all the veggies cuz of that damn macrobiotic diet he sticks to. I swear the man has shit himself a few times … WOW! And don’t touch his poo ... it gives you pinkeye!!



Are you physically able to hop for long periods of time? Ask me that 10 years ago and I coulda hopped for hours. I just had knee surgery not to long ago, so no … not for very long now.



Would you hyperventilate when put in a confining costume? Nah, I can just think of it as a fetish my Monkee has. Plus, I was a bunny last Halloween.



Do you own your own Easter basket, or you need one provided? No, but I heard that my fellow bandmate’s wife sells them in her Easter collection ... I can get one from there.



Would you be prepared to sign a disclaimer absolving us of responsibility if you are violently assaulted by young children? Are you kidding? I’m a BACKSTREET BOY! I’ve been violated by kids, had my hair ripped out (yes!! I HAD hair at one time!), my clothes ripped off. So no, no disclaimer needed.



Have you any prior experience as an animal? I’m kinky...but not THAT kinky!



Do you have a criminal record? Nope ...I’m clean.



How many eggs can you paint in an hour? A lot ... I will just pretend they are my fingernails!



Please provide a reference: My Monkee, my mom and her hubby, my bandmates and I have a ton of fans that will vouch for me!



Any further information: I may tear the sleeves off the bunny costume ... I always feel the need to be different, so I will buy the costume up front. Hey, I can have my Monkee paint my bald head like an Easter egg? And do my nails in pastels?