Lady V and Britton teamed up for a dual review of "Bigger"--we hope you enjoy!

Bigger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UOoNZWZyKQ
(courtesy of bsbofficial... we <3 YOU!)

Lady V:
We are in Japan for this video! Look out for the man in the black wig and funky glasses wearing his pajamas, lol. Oh and our first real sighting of Nutty Nick, he has had so many faces over they years in videos; sexy, moody, thoughtful, in pain, angry now nutty Nick, I am impressed: you may take the nutty crown from Brian later on.
The video starts with them following a pretty Japanese lady down the street, she is dressed as a maid. Lol. We get shots of each of the boys looking a little confused, you know like someone's kidnapped them, blindfolded them and then let them go and they have no idea where they are.
Brian is singing in the middle of the road is this wise? Maybe he's trying to hail a taxi? Worryingly, if you look closely Brian appears to have stolen one of Nick's shirts; Brian is dressed for arctic conditions as always. It's like he can hear his mums voice in his head every morning when he gets dressed: "Now my little Brian, you make sure you wrap up warm baby, its freezing out there." Brian, seriously my friend, it ain't that cold; try London in December, that's cold.
0:15 A lady walks past Brian with a surgical mask on she must still think he has swine flu lmao!
They walk into a room full of women dressed in maid's outfits, and one has cat ears on...hmmm what kind of establishment is this exactly and if it is just an innocent karaoke bar then why does my local one not have this many staff? And why are they not dressed like that? lol
0:24 Howie jumps in a taxi! That's not how you hail a taxi is it? Wave, then Thumbs up. They wouldn't stop in my neighbourhood if I gave them a thumbs up, they would make another one finger gesture at you that is not a thumbs up. But perhaps Brian should try this technique rather than standing in the middle of the road.
Then we get some sexy silhouettes in front of a white lit up building and I think Nick's in a bar but it's ok, he's drinking coke. I think. *runs awaaaaaaaayy from the Nick fans*
We also get some shots in front of a Japanese style building just in case we should forget where they are.
Howie's on top of a building on his own don't jump Howie! We love you! We won't ever tease you about the QPG video ever again. Just dont jump! Youre looking rather tasty lately, didnt we tell you?
AJ meanwhile is just as suicidal, hes walking down the middle of a busy road! AJ didnt' you read the Highway Code? That's what the sidewalk is for. I would also just like to mention AJ's cardigan at this point. AJ, I don't care if it has skulls on it, it is still a cardigan. My grandmother likes cardigans, as do all her friends, and it's not sexy. Please just put on a nice sweater next time, Brian has thousands of nice warm toasty ones that his mom bought for him, I'm sure he will lend you one.
1:11 Howie, just because we said youre looking tasty lately doesnt mean you get to update you lil' black book by getting some chick's phone number, Howie you dirty dawg!
1:13 AJ looks round after checking out the girl behind him, his confident face and wry smirk says," I am so gonna do that later you know it!" Nick meanwhile plays drums with two small spoons on AJ's tea cup. AJ is so busy thinking about what he's going to get up to later he totally misses it.
It's Karaoke time. Brian and Howie happily share a microphone like good brothers should! Poor Nick, AJ totally pretends he cant see Nick is behind him without a mic and hogs it only child by any chance AJ? Fight him for it Nick you know you could take him hes smaller than you!
1:48 Brian is still trying to hail a taxi and has resorted to sitting in the middle of the road.
2:00 Brian gets mugged willingly by some school boys for his scarf lol. He seems a bit hacked off about it in the next shot, possibly because hes cold or maybe because he has to explain to his mom where the scarf went, but it's ok he has the mugger's tie to give to police forensics later.
Howie please get down from the top of that building, you are making me very uncomfortable.
2:16 Nick goes shopping for some Japanese porn.
2:19 AJ has started working on the girl hes gonna do later lol, I knew that place was more than a karaoke bar.
2:25 Nick has had a drink and needs a bit of a lay down, Brian in the same shot (far right) has a black wig on.... your head cold Brian? Trade AJ a Sweater for one of his hats!
2:36 Nick gives up fighting AJ for the microphone and gets in between Brian and Howie.
AJ then goes to pay his respects to a Buddhist statue; Im not gonna go too far into this because its a beautiful, humble, respectful and tender moment. But I half expected Brian to jump in and start hitting AJ over the head with a Bible at this point.
2:35 Nick falls off his chair LMAO, nice try Nick but that's about as staged as the video I tried to send into You've Been Framed, I never got my hilarious ahem Accident shown on TV or my 250 quid! But I did hurt myself pretending to fall into the kids' mini-pool in the garden.
2:54 I have no idea what that is but I don't think I'd eat it. Good luck with that Nick.
2:59 Oh look a fish tank! AJ BEND OVER THE FISH TANK!!! Ill whip you with a stick lol please? Just once

Dear BSB: Bigger than I Still?
Shiny new videos get the Noisy girls so excited they cant write articles on them for weekswere too busy watching them.
Luckily, the hours of study have paid off.
Guys: we have questions. And they involve a little video you may remember. In fact, you may just want to call this video "I'm Still Bigger than You".
BSB sat down with the creative team one day, and it seems this happened
Howie: We need a new video. Im sick of hearing about AJ's Twilight fetish.
Nick: Dude, how could you admit to being Team Edward?
AJ: Man, at least I read.
Nick: That's harsh! I'm twittering that I need comebacks for that.
Brian: Guys, I don't feel so good.
Howie: You'll get over it. We need a new video.
Brian: No, seriously, my nose feels stuffy.
Nick: Must be allergic to Team Edward. OH! Good one, tweets!
Howie: Guuuyyyys? Video. Focus.
AJ: At least I'm not team WoW.
Brian: Hey, Nick's elf would kick your vampire's ass!
Nick: Dude. Troll.
Brian: Am not, just stuffy.
Nick: No, t-r-o-l-l,
Howie: No videos with trolls! The vampires were bad enough!
Brian: You're just angry because you looked high.
Howie: Am not! Where's the whipping stick!
Brian: Hit AJ instead, I'm achy all over.
AJ: Let's do a vampire video, and I'LL direct it this time.
Nick: Dude, I told you--I'm not doin porn.
Howie: What about a happy video?
Awkward pause.
Nick: I don't wanna work. It's JapanI wanna get fawned over.
AJ: You guys always want wuss videos.
Howie: What if it was funny?
Nick: I'm gonna have to ask my tweets about that.
Brian: Chirpity chirp!
Nick: Rok, just because you yell it AT my blackberry, does not mean it's online.
Howie: What if we just ripped off one of our old vids, but did it in a really happy looking way?
BSB considers.
AJ: Let's do it. Im picking where we film.
Nick: Let's do it in Japan!
AJ: I always do it in Japan.
Brian: You're nathty.
AJ: Huh?
Brian: Natttttthhhhhty.
Nick: Retweet: Nasty, Bri thinks youre nasty.
Brian: I wanna wear a new scarph.
AJ: Scarph?
Nick: Retweet: Scarf. My tweets are bein totally lols! Rofl!
Howie: Can I just not film my scenes with you guys?

So what happens when you guys film in Japan?
First, you get kidnapped by a maid. She loses Brian, and lets him wander the street at will, poor thing. Good news: he has a scarf!
Also, she knows the way to a café populated with maidswe think this may be AJ's idea. The chocolate cake and coffee was probably Howie's. Howie's more sensible, and knows it's time for dessert.
Oh, more good news: we have a giant, luminated clock that counts down! To what--no one knows. But man, does Nick look pretty in front of it.
Uh oh: someone let Howie in a taxi. Remember the taxi that died for "I Still," and was edited out?
No worries--Nick will make any situation better by directing the maid choir.
And we have a temple. What for, we still don't know.
Brian, why is everyone else running AWAY from the camera? Godzilla?
We've tired of the maids, and gone for take-out. Which we're...sitting down to eat.
Nick decides to demonstrate his drum skills on a tea cup! Because that's never going to annoy AJ.
Nick, whats hanging off your sleeve? Is it an emergency pull tab?
Brian decides to demonstrate: Bigger? Nick is THIS much bigger than me!
Nick's caught Brians obvious hand gestures disease, and thinks we need a visual for feet stuck to the ground.
AJ grows tired of the limelight, the maids, Nick's drumming, and goes for a walk with his tea cozy hat. On a major road. Huh.
Nick decides directing karaoke choir is the new way to go: his gesturing, directorial skills, and general cuteness are not being properly appreciated, and he needs a new outlet!
Meanwhile, puzzled by his own whereabouts, Brian plops down in the middle of the road.
Now what video has Brian sitting in the road, Howie in a taxi, and AJ all alone...wonder what Nick's doing. I suspect he's on a street somewhere. Wanna see if I'm right?
Howie, please don't hurt this taxi. If you get a reputation, New York City will never let you back.
MAYDAY, MAYDAY, Brian has LOST the SCARF! Obviously, it's okay for Howie to wander about in sweatshirt hoodies, but Brian does it, and he gets the flu. Wait, it seems he's flailing about black scarf. Fan scarf? He's starting an international scarf swap?
Nope. Red scarf's back. Bri, it's not nice to take back gifts.
Oooh, Pretty Rooftop Howie! He spared the taxi!
And here's Nick, just a wide eyed kid in the big city--oh yeah right. Wait...Nick's walking around by himself on a street.Hmmm.
But the clock wound back too: must be running on Backstreet Time. 9,8,1,4,6,4,6. Yup, Backstreet Time. Otherwise known as: This Made Someone in Editing Want to Cry. Let's dance in front of it! Just like we danced in front of the blurry, muted, city lights in a little video from Never Gone!
Huh. Looks like Nick learned AJs chicken neck dance.
And AJ learned Brians spin move.
So what do you do with spare Backstreet Time?
If you're Howie, you drink more coffee.
If you're AJ, hot maids feed you cake, and then you visit a shrine.
If you're Brian...well, you worked hard in the first half of the video.
If you're Nick, you bounce enthusiastically, and fall off chairs. Why? Because in Japan, they will let him have coffee AND video games!
Then everyone directs the maid choir!
Look everyone, random fish in a tank! Are you picking out your dinner from the beginning of the video?
Because he's been cooking it for the whole video.
What do you get if you have Brian hopelessly lost in traffic, Howie in a taxi, wandering and morose AJ, bewildered Nick in the city, and a back-winding clock?
A time machine to "I Still". Don't believe me? Let's ask the vid.


Spoof Fanfic

Hello again, Lady V here! This was my first venture into the fanfic world and as ususal I had to put my own spin on it, So welcome to my first spoof-fic. What would happen in a fanfic if the boys KNEW they were in Fanfic? I think it may go a little something like this...
Nick and the Alien abduction

Nick was sat in his back yard Blackberry in hand, it was Saturday night and he was bored, really, really bored…


If only something exciting would happen he thought to himself looking up at the sky. I wasn’t in last week’s fanfic. Maybe I could get an incurable disease and fight the odds and survive… nah been there done that. Maybe I could discover a hot chick that has no idea who I am… Nah. Maybe I could have a huge friendship ending bust up with Brian… no, not this week anyway. Maybe I should call Howie for some filler dialogue… hmm, I’m not that desperate right now. I’ve got it! I’ve got it; a traumatic life changing event that no one saw coming… ohhh….. no I’m just not in that kind of mood tonight.

TWEET: Is there anyone out there? Brok? Jizzle? D? I’m bored

There was a loud whooshing noise and a large round Alien spacecraft lands on the grass in front of him. Nick became very excited

TWEET: There’s an Alien space ship landing in my back yard

The alien that emerged was grotesque, it had a slimy grey human shaped body with two legs and two arms but it had three heads. The head in the middle had a huge black eye with huge eyelashes, the heads either side had an ear on each of them and its mouth was on its stomach and oozing some kind of yellow slime.

TWEET: This is so freaking awesome

“This is so freaking cool! Take me to your leader” shouted Nick, jumping up and holding his fingers up in a peace sign

TWEET: I’m being abducted by aliens’ man…. Sweet

“We have come to earth to find us a handsome specimen of man” Said the alien in a robotic sounding voice “we need to repopulate our planet… our Manlings are all dying”

TWEET: She wants to have my babies
TWEET: oh shit.

Meanwhile somewhere in Kentucky:
Brian logs onto his twitter,

FRILLNECK: Check out my porn! Dirty beyatch!

“AJ what is the matter with you?” sighed Brian as he typed

BRIANLITRELL: @Frillneck do you do anything other than jack off in your free time?

Brian scans down the page….

HOWIE_D: Are you ready for some filler dialogue yet?

“Howie Howie Howie… why must you always do this?” Sighed Brian

BRIANLITRELL: @ Howie_D Epic fail dude

Brian scans down a little further…

KEVINRICHARDSON: There are 3,344,672 blades of grass on my lawn

“whaaaaaaat?” laughs Brian

BRIANLITRELL: @KevinRichardson you need to get out more cousin!


NICKCARTER: Is there anyone out there? Brok? Jizzle? D? I’m bored
NICKCARTER: Theres an Alien space ship landing in my back yard
NICKCARTER: This is so freaking awesome
NICKCARTER: I’m being abducted by aliens’ man…. Sweet”
NICKCARTER: She wants to have my babies
NICKCARTER: oh shit.

“For crying out loud” said Brian shaking his head, “what the hell is he on? Hey Leighanne come and have a look at what Mr Tweetaholics chirping about now”

BRIANLITTRELL: @Nickcarter yeah ok whatever you weirdo chirp!


Back in Nick’s backyard:

“you will come back to our planet with us” said the alien

“Listen… I don’t know if this is such a good idea” said Nick backing away “I’m really not that sexy… well I am actually… but that’s not the point.”

“You will come back to our planet with us” Repeated the alien in a monotone voice

“I’m not after any real commitment right now…” began Nick, The alien, interrupted and gestured towards the space craft “we have Nintendo”

“sweeeeeeeeet” screamed Nick running towards the ship

TWEET: They have Nintendo… Goodbye Earth
TWEET: @ BrianLittrell…. prick


Brian was still sitting at his computer desk

NICKCARTER: They have Nintendo… Goodbye earth
NICKCARTER: @Brianlittrell Prick

Brian was filled with panic… Maybe Nick had another terminal illness? Maybe he’s discovered another love child? Either way Nick was OBVIOUSLY having some kind of crisis and was in need of saving with some brotherly, Christian advice and a huge scene where they hug each other and say “I love you man!”. In a heterosexual way obviously… because this is NOT a slash fic like last week.

Brianlittrell: @ Nickcarter… Im coming Nick… I’ll save you!

As Brian went to log out he noticed another tweet

FRILLNECK: @ BrianLittrell Ask Nick if the Aliens have porn

“I have no time for this!” Shouted Brian dramatically “I must save Nick….. again”

BRIANLITTRELL: @Frillneck Who do you think you are exactly in fan-fic land?? QUAGMIRE???”

Brian shuddered as he remembered what happened with Him and AJ in the fan-fic world last week in “AROK-PDA”. Cringing Brian turns off his monitor in disgust, god we have some fucked up fans. He runs to the front door shouting…
“Leighanne!!!!! I’m off to save Nick again… GOTTA GO!”


Nick was in a whole world of trouble as usual, He was strapped to a metal table with medical equipment all around him. “Hello?” he called to the empty room “Hello! I was told there was Nintendo? Somebody? ANYBODY?” his blackberry was mysteriously still in his right hand. He squinted to make out twitter from a distance…

BRIANLITTRELL: @ NickCarter… Im coming! I’ll save you!

Nick sighed… “I must resist his attempts to save me from myself/a woman/illegal substances/inner demons/aliens despite the fact that the bastard is always right in the end.”

NICKCARTER: @Brianlittrell I don’t need you bitch! I don’t need anyone! Stop judging me! I hate you!

Nick smiled “that’ll do it”


Brian had managed to get to Nicks house from Kentucky in under an hour, with no mention of packing, a plane flight, hand luggage or how he got there from the airport. Its times like this Brian loved being in fanfiction! He couldn’t find Nick so opened his laptop:

NICKCARTER @BrianLittrell I don’t need you bitch! I don’t need anyone! Stop judging me! I hate you!

Brian was devastated and cried dramatically, on his knees for about an hour. “Nick, why every time I try to save you must you hurt me so! It’s ok! I am your one true BFF! I love you anyway!” Brian then prayed for Nick for another hour. Before wandering off trying to find Nick in the garden.


Nick wasn’t happy! “HELLO?” he screamed “I think there’s been some kind of mistake!” what the hell is going on he thought! Where were the Aliens… I mean they have less dialoge than Howie! “If you want it good girls get yourself a bad boy!” he shouted “AJ lives in Las Vegas… I could take you there! I mean he must be pretty fertile; he has more love children in fan-fic world than I’ll ever have…. HELLO!”

NICKCARTER: @ FrillNeck you would love this shit man! The Aliens are into bondage.

Brian looked up at the spaceship conveniently parked in Nick’s back yard and prayed. He was walking in slowly whilst checking around him for Aliens when he got a txt on his phone… “aaaaaaah” shouted Brian jumping in panic

“Hello Brian! I’m just off into the bathroom and I wont be mentioned again for the rest of the story, just thought you should know! Howie”

“This is NOT the time for filler dialoge Howie!” screamed Brian at his phone while frantically searching for Nick. He walked up to a door it slid open to reveal Nick Tied to a table. “Oh this was easy!” laughed Brian, Nick wasn’t amused “Shut up and save me prick I’ve been stuck here for an hour while you have been praying”
Brian untied Nick and his Blackberry and they ran out of the spaceship and into Nicks house, they bolted the door behind them. Nick emotionally hugs Brian “thanks Rok! You saved me again from certain doom, you are awesome man”. Brian hugged Nick back “It’s ok man, there is nothing worth losing our friendship… I love you!” There was a loud whoosh outside as the space craft took off.

AJ was sitting in his backyard on his laptop when there was a loud whooshing sound. There was an Alien spacecraft hovering over him

NICKCARTER: @ FrillNeck you would love this shit man! The Aliens are into bondage.

AJ looked up and smirked “Really… hmmm”