Well today is a special day, its our second anniversary! Its been a year of ups and downs, highs and lows, anyone would think AJ was our driver!

But we're still heeeeeeeeeeeeeere!
Our feet stuck to the ground,
despite how silly we sound!

We still are DD, Momma J, Sam, Chels, Luz, Poppy, B and V! And thank YOU! Yep, YOU! Because if you were not here reading this craziness we would have to do something else that was crazy and we would all end up in the loony bin LOL You are indeed... bigger than us.We know we've been a lil quiet recently, feel free to blame Nick, we do. But we are working on something pretty damn good! Here's a lil teaser for you... keep checking the blog... this is gonna be epic.Much Love,V and the Noisy Girls xoxo


Backstreet Noise proudly presents:

The Backstreet Scavenger hunt

10AM Backstreet time Somewhere of the coast of Miami:
Howie pointed over into the corner of the room,
“Look I told you… what the hell is that all about?”
Brian and AJ slowly approached the tape recorder placed on Howie’s bed; someone had scrawled “PLAY ME!” on a piece of paper next to it.
“I guess we should play it” Shrugged AJ pressing the play button
“YO D! BRok! AJ! Your mission should you choose to expect it is A BACKSTREET SCAVENGER HUNT!”
It was Nick.
Howie looked at Brian“Expect it?”
Brian shrugged “resign/reside he’s always had issues”
Nick continued as the music from Mission impossible accompanied him in the back ground,
“You are going to need to find five things that re-SIDE on the ship and meet back here at eight o’clock TONIGHT! This is gonna be awesome! OK the five items you must collect are:Number one… A Wylee item”
Brian fist pumped “I have SO won this already”
“What?!” exclaimed Howie
“you are actually considering doing this?”
“Sssssssssshhhhh!” said AJ “we need to listen to Nick”
“Number two… A 42DDD bra”
“Woaaaah” groaned Brian “I like this game”
“Number three… you must take a picture with the craziest fan you can find”
AJ laughed “We need a Nick fan then”
“Number four… A tampon…. In like the packaging obviously”
Nick lost control and laughed for three minutes straight“Bwhahahahahhaahahah… oh sorry…. Bwhaaahahahaa…. tampon”
The boys looked at each other in confusion, Nick was now mumbling through tears of laughter
“Oh man… yeah… that’s funny! A tampon…. yeah”
Finally he snapped out of it
“OK finally! Number five! A fluffy bunny!”
“That’s a hard one” said Brian shaking his head
"Yeah man" AJ nodded in agreement
“WHAT!?” cried Howie in confusion “This is a cruise ship not a petting zoo Nick!”
“Use your imagination with that one hahahaha! Ok dawgs this tape will self destruct in 10… 9…. 8….”
“This cant be serious” sighed Howie rolling his eyes
“7… 6… 5…”
AJ started backing away “I really think we need to MOVE”
“4… 3…. 2…”
“Oh lord” Brian sighed
The tape recorder exploded on Howie's bed… leaving a big black scorch mark.
“MY BED!” yelled Howie
“GAME ON! GOTTA GOOOOOOO!” shrieked Brian leaping into the air and running out of the room. A shocked Howie looked at AJ for some kind of sane response; AJ was slowly backing out of the door
“Listen… Howie… sorry about your bed man but I’m gonna WIN this! Later dude”
Howie stood alone for a minute wondering how Nick had got explosives onto the boat and who had let him have them in the first place. He looked at his burnt bed and shook his head.
“Well…” He said to himself as he walked out of the door
“If you can’t beat them… join them right?”

So who wins? Stay tuned to find out....


Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back In The Water ...


That's right folks ... we're coming baaaaaaaaaaack!! We may be down a couple ( V & luz =( ) but we'll be up one ( Sam =) ) and we'll still be missing our Brazilian Tornado! But that won't stop us!! Now we've changed cities from Cleveland to Columbus ... so the boys won't be expecting us! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! They may have brought those New Kids as reinforcements ... but in this case ... 2 boys bands just means more places for us to hide!! ;)

Yes, this trip is bound to be another epic affair ... so if you'll be there ... beware!! You all remember what happened last time don't you?? Here's a little bit of never before seen Cleveland footage ... in case you forgot ...

You think you're ready ... but you're not!!


When Noisy Girls and Friends Have Too Much Free Time ...

Ever wonder what the Noisy Girls do when they're not writing hilarious pieces for all of you lovely people to read? Do you wanna know what make US laugh?

Well, we've got a PERFECT example going on RIGHT now on The Dark Side! Check out this thread ... http://www.backstreet-boys.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=talk&action=display&thread=3349&page=1

Some Noisy are in on the action as well as other fabulous TDS posters! Come laugh along with us!!


A Noisy NKOTBSB Review

Before I begin, I would just like to fore warn any potential new readers of a couple of things. #1 I tease because I love. This is a humour site and it’s all meant to be very tongue and cheek., so try not to get too offended. #2 This is not gonna be your typical review with a play by play of everything that happened. Although there will be some spoilers so if you don’t wanna know, I’d stop reading now.

It was a hot night on the 9th of June when I went to see NKOTBSB in Toronto. They’d been asking me since that fateful American Music Awards performance, “can’t you see, can’t you see, N-K-O-T-B-S-B?” It was then that I could finally say “Yes, I can see you, please stop harassing me!” It was the second of two shows in Toronto, not that it made any difference since all of the boys performed like the Energizer Bunny on crack. Even Howie seemed more excited then usual … HOWIE! He’s supposed to be the responsible one who just looks at the rest of them like “WHY must I share a stage with these idiots?”

We were seated in what I was jokingly calling “The Squirt Zone” (aka the tip of the penis). Turns out … not a joke. That’s right, the penis stage jizzes on you. Not even five minutes into the show and streams of white and silver were shooting out at us. Now I know everyone was very excited but DAMN!! I thought it would hold up longer then that. And I’m not really sure what the silver was about. I’m a little concerned that someone’s picked up some funky STD over the years and now things just aren’t quite right down there.

Now you’ll notice that I said that I WAS calling it The Squirt Zone, as in past tense. After having spent an entire show there I am now calling it “The Death Zone”. In other words, if you are sitting there, prepare to die! Now of course I don’t mean literally, obviously I’m still alive if I can type this out but, it gets CA-RAY-ZAY down there. First you’ll have to manage to survive the high levels of sexiness, and believe me, from that close, the sexiness is quite overwhelming. Then you’ll have to survive the fact that Backstreet Boys and at least one New Kid WILL pass RIGHT by you. I now know what it’s like to have Nick Carter walk two feet in front of you when you’re in an arena filled with 20,000 girls who want to bang him. NOT. CUTE. Even with Nick’s unreasonably high level of good lookingness. My advice, elbows up and start hitting bitches. It’s the only way they’ll learn.

The camaraderie between the boys is very endearing … and sometimes a little creepy. Take the end of this particular show for example. First Jordan points out how handsome Nick is. Ok, kind of stating the obvious, I can live with that. Then Joey and Brian sing love songs to each other. I’m a little afraid but, I suppose they are just showing their appreciation for the music. Now there was a lot of screaming so I cannot be 100% sure about this next thing, but I’m fairly sure Howie said something about Danny “bringing the wood”. I can’t explain that one away, I’m disturbed. Then Danny refers to Howie as “The Latin Lover” and Howie proceeds to shake his ass apparently to the utter delight of all of the other boys who all proceed to then discuss Howie’s ass shaking. On the penis stage. And they’re calling themselves New Kids On The Backstreet Boys. Need I say more? Well apparently I do since the homoeroticism wasn’t over yet and Donnie kissed Nick. Now it was on the cheek but given everything else and the fact that they are not Italian relatives greeting each other, I’d say that’s not exactly normal heterosexual male behaviour. But hey, I don’t judge. Everyone is free to be you and me so, whatever floats your boat gentlemen.

All in all I must say that I really did enjoy the show. The Boys were fantastic as usual and the New Kids gave me plenty of opportunities to go pee or sit down and relax, check my phone and chat to the people. Although some of the sounds that come out of those guys, YIKES! I’m fairly sure at one point there was a note sung so high, only dogs could hear it. Someone should really ask if they have to be kicked in the nuts before they sing like that. Although I’ve yet to hear Nick being asked if he’s ever licked a battery so, I won’t hold out hope. Anyhoo, I had a TON of fun, if you get the chance you really should get out and see it for yourself. But if for some reason you can’t, then I hope this noisy review gave you a little more insight into what Boy-Band-Palooza 2011 was really like. TTFN my friends!



And So It Begins ...

… the start of a new tour. Our heroes the Backstreet Boys and their dads … errrr … boy band comrades New Kids On The Block are about to embark on a tour of epic proportions. But with great tour, comes great responsibility. The pressure is on for all of these not so young lads to be the best they can be.

And all the fans across the lands … and by lands of course I mean generations as the mega man band only plans to tour North America and I’m pretty sure some of the New Kids fans are grandmothers … but I digress … all those fans are excitedly waiting and hoping. Hoping that Nick will finally see them across the stadium and they’ll fall in love and run away together … hoping that they won’t trip over their heels causing total embarrassment … hoping they won’t have to punch one of those Blockhead grandmothers square in the nose.

Yes, the anticipation of a new tour can be the cause of great stress. But in case you forgot what it’s all really about, the Noisy Girls present to you … Memories …

That’s right folks … it’s about FUN. So no matter if you’re on the Penis Stage or just watching in awe from below … have as much fun as possible and just enjoy the moment!



The many faces of Brian Littrell 1-5

Once apon a time there was a Backstreet boy called Brian. Brian amused us all with his bizarre behaviour and silly faces... thats why we love him! But... have you ever wondered what exactly might be going on in Brian's head in some pictures? We have, so we thought we'd see if we could figure it out, in our own unique noisy way obviously! Ladies and gents BN presents...

"The many faces of Brian Littrell"

Brian gets bored during some photos:

Brian is NOT receeding... mmkay?

Dear Brian, be careful what you do on stage buddy. Love The Noisy Girls xoxo

Hat... CHECK! Scarf... CHECK! Cheesy Grin... CHECK! It can only be Brok!

And finally... a lil old school


Backstreet Bunnies - Part 4

Candidate #3 (aka AJ) is certainly ... interesting. He seems like a nice enough guy though. Well ladies and gents ... we're down to our final Candidate ...

Candidate #4

Name: Nick Carter

DOB: January 28, 1980


Height: 6ft1

Experience: Hot guy in The Backstreet Boys/Actor/Director/All round sex magnet

Why do you think you would make a good Easter bunny and why do you want this role? I wouldn’t make a good Easter Bunny, I would make an AWESOME Easter Bunny! I want to do it because I would be so much better at it than Howie, he’s a one trick pony, all he does is wink.

What does Easter mean to you? Chocolate Eggs and CANDY! The bible and stuff too... Brian reads me the stories at night sometimes, they put me to sleep real quick.

How many carrots do you eat in a week? Too many, I get really bad gas on this macrobiotic diet.

Are you physically able to hop for long periods of time? Yeah totally! I can dance for hours too! I can also stick my hand down my pants while singing "She's A Dream"

Would you hyperventilate when put in a confining costume? Possibly, depends if I have bad gas.

Do you own your own Easter basket, or you need one provided? What’s an Easter basket?

Would you be prepared to sign a disclaimer absolving us of responsibility if you are violently assaulted by young children? Sure, Baylee does it to me all the time, I'm sure Leighanne tells him to do it.

Have you any prior experience as an animal? No but I have a dog... I pretend to bark at him sometimes, I do it real good! Also, someone tried making me an escape-goat once. OH And I have a pussy, I showed everyone on webchat once! I have this covered.

Do you have a criminal record? I er... well... I may have accidentally driven a car after a few drinks. I did get arrested for loitering, but the rumor about me exposing myself in public at the time was totally false.

How many eggs can you paint in an hour? One Thousand

Please provide a reference: Brian Littrell: My BFF. (I will give you his number)

Any further information: Do you think too much chocolate would kill you? I will make the Bunny costume look sexy, I hope that’s not a problem. Oh and can I eat the Eggs from the Easter Egg hunt that the kids don't find? I also don't work unless refreshments are put out, I want salad and wheatgrass. I’m also going to need a vent hole in the ass of the costume because of lunch.

Well there you have it, all 4 Easter Bunny Candidates! Who would YOU choose? Be sure to leave us a comment with your choice. Or you can hit us up on Twitter or TDS (links are at the top of the page). Thanks for reading!!


Backstreet Bunnies - Part 3

Well, Candidate #2 (aka Howie D) seems pretty professional and responsible. Although he seems to have a stalker in this "Nick Carter" character. Let's see what Candidate #3 has to offer ...

And be sure to check back tomorrow to see our FINAL Easter Bunny Candidate.

Candidate #3

Name: Alexander James McLean AKA: AJ, Jizzle, Johnny No Name, Skulleez, Monkee...

January 9, 1978

Yes … and a LOT of it with my Monkee!

Ummm … around 5'8 I think ...

I am an entertainer, have been for years, so I think that counts as experience. What could possibly be different entertaining a bunch of kiddies in an oversized bunny costume? I CAN floor hump in it, right?

Why do you think you would make a good Easter bunny and why do you want this role?
Well, despite my tough, outer appearance, I LOVE kids. I’m really good with my friend’s son Baylee … the kid LOVES me!

What does Easter mean to you?
I know the whole hoopla surrounding it, but I look forward to time with my family and my Monkee!!

How many carrots do you eat in a week?
Probably not very many ... besides, Nick steals all the veggies cuz of that damn macrobiotic diet he sticks to. I swear the man has shit himself a few times … WOW! And don’t touch his poo ... it gives you pinkeye!!

Are you physically able to hop for long periods of time?
Ask me that 10 years ago and I coulda hopped for hours. I just had knee surgery not to long ago, so no … not for very long now.

Would you hyperventilate when put in a confining costume?
Nah, I can just think of it as a fetish my Monkee has. Plus, I was a bunny last Halloween.

Do you own your own Easter basket, or you need one provided?
No, but I heard that my fellow bandmate’s wife sells them in her Easter collection ... I can get one from there.

Would you be prepared to sign a disclaimer absolving us of responsibility if you are violently assaulted by young children?
Are you kidding? I’m a BACKSTREET BOY! I’ve been violated by kids, had my hair ripped out (yes!! I HAD hair at one time!), my clothes ripped off. So no, no disclaimer needed.

Have you any prior experience as an animal?
I’m kinky...but not THAT kinky!

Do you have a criminal record?
Nope ...I’m clean.

How many eggs can you paint in an hour?
A lot ... I will just pretend they are my fingernails!

Please provide a reference:
My Monkee, my mom and her hubby, my bandmates and I have a ton of fans that will vouch for me!

Any further information:
I may tear the sleeves off the bunny costume ... I always feel the need to be different, so I will buy the costume up front. Hey, I can have my Monkee paint my bald head like an Easter egg? And do my nails in pastels?


Backstreet Bunnies - Part 2

So Candidate #1 (aka Mr. Littrell) was pretty good huh? He'd make a pretty good Easter Bunny, he's hyper enough to be jumping all over the place, and he's pretty cute! A little attached to the wife though. Let's see what Candidate #2 has to offer ...

And don't forget to check back tomorrow and Monday to see Candidates #3 and #4.

Candidate #2

Name: Howard (Howie) Dwaine Dorough

DOB: August 22, 1973

Sex: Male

Height: Tall enough, but not too tall, I’d say just right! ;)

Experience: I’ve been in the entertainment business for over 18 years now. Most recognizably I am a member of the international sensation known as Backstreet Boys. I’m also involved in talent management and I am in the process of recording my own solo record. I also work in real-estate and own several hotels.

Why do you think you would make a good Easter bunny and why do you want this role? I think I would make a good Easter Bunny because I’m charming, friendly, and adorable. I’m an excellent entertainer and I love children. I want this role because I think it would be a fun experience, an interesting thing to put on my resume, and an opportunity to have some fun with my family. Plus you can never have too much money right? ;)

What does Easter mean to you? Easter means time with family and friends, eating good food and enjoying the new beginnings of spring.

How many carrots do you eat in a week? Not that many. I’m more of a meat and potatoes guy if you know what I mean ;)

Are you physically able to hop for long periods of time? Hop? No, not for very long, my knees aren’t what they used to be. But my hips are in great condition so I can salsa for hours! ;)

Would you hyperventilate when put in a confining costume? No. Well, not unless you let that tall, blonde, pain in my ass mess with it.

Do you own your own Easter basket, or you need one provided? I don’t waste money on frivolous items like Easter baskets.

Would you be prepared to sign a disclaimer absolving us of responsibility if you are violently assaulted by young children? If it’s by a young child, then yes. I have a young son and so I know what children can be like. If it’s by Nick Carter, then no, I WILL sue!

Have you any prior experience as an animal? None to my recollection.

Do you have a criminal record? Of course not.

How many eggs can you paint in an hour? Paint well or just paint? Cuz I can just paint like 50 in an hour. Paint well, significantly less.

Please provide a reference: My manager, or basically anyone who has worked with me or with Backstreet Boys. They’ll all tell you I’m awesome. Just please don’t phone Nick Carter! Please, for the love of all things holy, that guy is SO annoying!

Any further information: If I get this job please ban Nick Carter from coming within a 10 mile radius of me. Thank you!


Backstreet Bunnies

It's Easter!! Spring has sprung, love is in the air, everyone is hopped up on chocolate, and it's only another month 'till the NKOTBSB tour!! Good times all around! Well, good times for everyone except the Easter Bunny. You see ... he had a little incident with a carrot and ... well ... suffice to say he won't be able to perform his regular Easterly duties. Lucky for him we have 4 excellent candidates ready to fill in for him! Check back every day for the next 4 days to see all of the applications and then decide ... Which Backstreet Boy would make the best Easter Bunny?

Candidate #1

Name: Brian Thomas Littrell

DOB: February 20th, 1975

Sex: Sometimes, only when my wife lets me though

Height: I'm as tall as I feel...okay fine, I'm short but if I get on Nick's back I'm a lot taller!

Experience: Entertainer, Singer/Performer, Christian, Husband/Father, Dog Owner

Why do you think you would make a good Easter bunny and why do you want this role? Well my wife thinks I would look cute as a bunny, and my son would enjoy it too, plus if I do say so myself I look pretty darn good in pink!

What does Easter mean to you? Jesus lives! Put your hands in the air and wave 'em like you just don't care!

How many carrots do you eat in a week? I usually only eat them when my wife tells me to

Are you physically able to hop for long periods of time? Well I usually hop on Nick's back for a piggy back ride, I have lots of energy in me, speaking of which is it time for my Ritalin yet?

Would you hyperventilate when put in a confining costume? I don't think so? Leighanne! Would I hyperventilate when in a confining costume? No? My wife says no, so no it is

Do you own your own Easter basket, or you need one provided? Oh I have plenty of Easter baskets, actually that's part of my wife's new line of purses, Wylee, the Easter collection

Would you be prepared to sign a disclaimer absolving us of responsibility if you are violently assaulted by young children? I don't know, once again, must consult the wife...

Have you any prior experience as an animal? Well between you and me, I have been neutered...does that count? And according to the other guys I'm whipped...that's an animal thing right?

Do you have a criminal record? Yes, I'm guilty of being whipped by my wife

How many eggs can you paint in an hour? Do I put my wife's face on them?

Please provide a reference: My wife, Leighanne Wallace, or my bff Nick Carter. But please just call my wife to hear her talk about me!

Any further information: I get too hyper sometimes; you may need to give me a shot to calm me down


My Evil Twin by Jen AKA Momma J

I know it's a dream for thousands...and it happened to me. It happened early one chilly morning, August 14, 2007, to be precise.

One Nickolas Gene Carter was at a radio station with Howie, doing an Unbreakable interview.

Now mind you, not very many things in this life can turn me instantly into a 12 year old pre-puberty teenie like just the sight of Nick can do. But yes, there I was, all alone, and seen him walking down the stairs.

At this point I became aware of the little voice ringing in my head. There he is!! it said to me. I think I even answered, aloud, with I know!!. If anyone gave me weird look, I wouldn't have had a clue...after all, Nick Freakin' CARTER was like 20 feet away from me at this point..does anything around you but him really exist when this happens? No? I didn't think so.

But anyways, he comes out of the building and every girl there, about 20-25 of us, rush the poor man.

Poor Howie gets NO love...I still love you tho Howie!!

Ok..off track again, but anyways, I calmly wait my turn and its finally arrived. I ask him to sign my comic book..he does...I stood there just gawkin' at the beauty of the man when I finally found my voice again I had asked for a hug.

The answer was like music to my ears..."Sure sweetie," he says to me.
Fine Nick, KILL me before I get the damn hug from you..I think to myself. It was then the other voice inside my head really awakened...

Evil Jen: OOOOOO will ya just LOOK at that hottie!!
Good Jen: Yes, he's very handsome indeed!
Evil Jen: See what I did for you? I got you to ask for a hug! And here it comes!
Good Jen: I knowwww! Omg! What do I do? What do I doooo??
Evil Jen: Reach back and pinch his ass!!
Good Jen: No!! I could NEVER do that!
Evil Jen: You are SUCH a goodie goodie two shoes!
Good Jen: Shut UP you! OMG! Hes hugging me!!!!
Evil Jen: NOW!! NOW!! Pinch the ass! Pinch the ass!!!

*pause cuz both Jens are in pure, blissful heaven right now.....



Good Jen: Ok..time to let go of the tall, cute blond guy now....
Evil Jen: NOOOOOO!!! Can't we take him home!?!
Good Jen: I wish we could, but no, he has to go on and make beautiful music with the rest of the boys for us to enjoy.
Evil Jen: NOOOOOO!!! Hes miiiiiiiiiine!! Let's just drag him back to the car and take him home..no one will notice!!
Good Jen: Ok..doooooooown girl..step away from the Backstreet boy.
Evil Jen: Coward! The man had his loooong, lanky, warm, hard, sweet bod pressed up against you and all you do is STAND there?! WTF!!?!?!
Good Jen: *sigh*

So, with that, my advice to all you that ever have the very fortunate experience of getting a hug from your favorite BSB, watch out!!! That evil twin is lurkin' about in your head somewhere and she will try to get you in trouble, or hell, even arrested! So beware! Don't listen! Resist! Resist! Resist the urge to listen to her, cuz by damned, you will want to!


Brian's Birthday Diary

You didn't think we'd forgotten Brian's Birthday did you?!? OF COURSE NOT!! We just thought we'd try something new and do a little after the fact/recap of how we imagine B-Rok's B-Day went down in Brazil (wow, that's a lot of B's). Here is the Noisy version of Brian's Birthday Diary ...

Dear Diary,

So I had to spend my birthday in Brazil this year. I thought it wouldn’t be too bad, nice weather, wifey, son and I would just have a nice quiet evening in our lovely hotel room. With the Lord watching down on us how could anything go wrong?

Now it started out ok, wifey and son brought me out a cake on stage. Wifey looked super sexy in her denim overalls, she knows how I like that farmer look. The rest of the boys led the crowd in a rendition of Happy Birthday which was nice. And my son gave me a big hug at the end. We like to be crazy adorable and mushy like that. The cake was of course delicious, although we didn’t eat it ‘till after the show. We like to wait to do that kinda stuff so that fans think they’ll be able to see us coming out. Then we just sit backstage laughing and definitely NOT sharing our cake with them. And when we’re done we just fall asleep and get driven out of there. But this time, since it was my birthday, we decided to stay awake. BIG MISTAKE!

When we got back to the hotel it took us forever to get through the crowd of screaming fans. I didn’t even notice one had attached herself to my leg ‘till she almost got caught in the elevator. Oh the Brazilians. I managed to kick her off but we got stuck on the elevator with Howie who INSISTED on coming back to our room so James could wish me Happy Birthday. There’s an hour of my life I’ll never get back. The kid is ONE!! When they actually got him to “talk” I don’t even think he was saying actual words! Just making random baby noises!! Anyways, we finally got Howie to leave and wifey was just getting the party hats out when we heard banging on the window. Some crazy people had SCALED the building and we’re trying to look in at my party! It took 20 minutes to get security and another 40 to get these lunatics safely off the building. At that point it was getting late and son was getting tired, but we decided we had enough time for a round of pin the tail on the donkey. We were just getting started when Nick came barging in claiming he was bored. We couldn’t get him to leave so we just decided to let him play. That was my second big mistake of the night! After the THIRD time Nick tried to pin the tail on MY behind and then laugh hysterically, I threw his ass out. At that point son was asleep so wifey and I put his ear plugs in, turned the lights off, and decided to get down to business. It WAS my birthday after all! I had just gotten my swim cap on when we heard a noise. At first I thought it was nothing but then we heard it again. Then wifey screamed!! I looked over and saw AJ popping out from under the bed!! He claimed he just wanted to listen but I was outraged and started yelling at him. But then he just started crying about how he was lonely and missed his monkee. We spent the rest of the night consoling AJ who finally fell asleep at 4am in the fetal position between wifey and I.


God Bless,


BUT WAIT!!! It's not over yet!! We couldn't just leave you wondering why AJ was under the bed could we?? Here's AJ's Noisy Diary from Brian's Birthday ...

Dear Dizzle Diary,
In Brazil baby! Woah the people here are C.R.A.Z.Y and err.... colorful, but its ok I like transvestites... and gay people... and lesbians ... mhhhhh lesbians...... I really like lesbians. Sex with lesbians.... now that would be.... hmmm...
*crosses out*
Sorry sorry,

Got a little side tracked there. Its Rochelle’s fault... she’s not here. I’m horny... and I have no outlet.
Anyway, moving on ITS BRIANS BIRTHDAY!!! wooohooo! And it’s been a great day! *starts singing birthday sex* Birthday… sex.... *grinds* oh yeah.... hmm birthday sex with lesbians... hmmmm

*Crosses it out* WHAT, sorry. I’m doing it again. *slaps self*

Well we had a great show for Broks birthday... Faceonshirt bought a cake out for him with Baylee and we all sang to him, he looked so happy. It was great. Faceonshirt had these tight demins on... and a pair of hooker boots... ahhh man... Birthday sex... with lesbians... dressed in tight demin and hooker boots *sighs* hmmmmmm

*crosses it out* Sorry... my bad

I dunno what happened but after the show I somehow ended up underneath Brains bed... I don’t know how it happened, last thing I remembered was going in there to find a pair of Leighannes underwear to wear to jack off into.... err..... Wear to..... Err........ Wear...... to... *flusters* BED! err.. Wear to BED! And I ended up under the bed. Howie finally left after what seemed like an eternity but then Nick came in… it was really hard not to scream when he stepped on my hand chasing Brian’s ass with a pin. Did you know Brian wears a swim cap to bed? I wish I had thought of that when I started to lose my hair. Anyway the swim cap thing got me all hot and bothered... Hmmm birthday sex… with Lesbians… dressed in tight denim and hooker boots… with swim caps on… ohhhh man….
*crosses out*
I sneezed… Leighanne screamed
I was fucking disappointed after laying there for hours I was soooo close to hearing some hot sexy action
*crosses out*
I couldn’t explain why I was there, so burst into tears… I miss my monkee, It was so good to let it all out. When I woke up this morning I was in bed in between Leighanne and Brian, I thought that would be ok, until I saw the huuuuuge morning erection that I had … err…. problem with this situation and thought I had better get the hell out of there before Leighanne killed meerr… things got embarrassing.

Anyway I got a busy day, its hot out here in Brazil!
Hot…. Hot like lesbians…. hhhmmmm


Thought we were done? NOT YET!! We've gotta give you Nick's thoughts on the evening!

Dear Diary
(er Journal...I'm a guy, guys don't have diaries!)

Its Bri's birthday!!! Yay! I had this awesome plan worked out for after the show, we were going to hit up the best spot in town! That's right, the best place to spend your birthday ... McDonald's!! Brazil has McDonald's did you know that? I didn't. Actually I didn't even know where Brazil was before 2000.

I even went online to check if the tubes in the play center could hold all of our weight. All that awesome work for nothing! Faceonshirt decided to have a "family party". Ugh, you know she even came on stage with a cake for Bri, wearing overalls? Overalls!! I used to wear those things back in the 90's! I'm no fashion maven but I do know that overalls are out of style. So unfair... I wanted a cheeseburger! *pouts* So anyways I decided to crash their little family party after I couldn't find AJ. It was weird he just up and disappeared.

I got there just as soon as Howie was leaving. He was on the phone with James and he didn't let me go into the room until James said bye bye. The kid doesn't know how to talk so it took forever, I eventually just walked away. So, I busted into the room and Baylee wanted me to play "pin the tail on the donkey". Damn blindfold! I remember stepping on something and hearing a crunch and then a slight grumble. That was odd.

Then Brian kept screaming at me because I kept trying to pin the tail on him. Geeze dude, lighten up! It doesn't hurt that bad! Anyways Brian got mad and kicked me out because he and faceonshirt wanted to be alone. You know at first when he mentioned a swim cap I thought he meant ... well you know. Anyways now I'm bored, I wonder what AJ's doing ...



BNP celebrates The DarkSide's 1st Anniversary

It was a lonely Wednesday at 2:45am, BSB was on another leg of their never ending tour, and Nick couldn't sleep. So naturally, he decided to check out LD for some crazy fan entertainment. Unfortunately for Nick ... LD was nowhere to be found...

Nick: Damn! What you mean there's no more LD? How else am I supposed to find out what all the latest rumors about us are?? Oh wait ... it's redirecting me to some place called "AfterLD" *clicks* ... Well this sucks! This place is deader than Howie's Fan Conventions!! Where did everyone GO??

Several minutes of investigating later

Nick: Ooooh! This looks promising ... The Darkside *clicks* ... Oh wow ... JACKPOT!! ... I've gotta tell the other guys about this!

Brian: What you looking at Nicky?

Nick: *minimises* DON'T sneak up on me like that!

Brian: You looking at porn?

Nick: No

Brian: AJ!!!! HOWIE!!! Come here, Nick's looking at porn!

*AJ comes running* *Howie wanders over*

AJ: PORN? *cheesy grin*

Nick: It’s NOT porn, look *maximises* Its "The Darkside" it’s the new LD!

Howie: Oh no, no no no. WHY are you reading that? LD was... well...

AJ: Full of psychos?

Nick: Yeah but this place seems ok, look there’s even a thread about you Howie "The Pest twittered.... world survived"

*Boys roar with laughter, except Howie*

Howie: PEST? PEST? Why are they making me sound like a cockroach? Oh look they have a thread about MY album!!!! *beams with pride*

Brian: Aww that’s so sweet, they are obviously really nice people to bother with a thread for that *grins*

Howie: *glares at Brian*

Nick: HA! Look at me go! MY album thread is already on #5! Go me!! *does cabbagepatch dance*

Brian: *smacks Nick in the back of the head* Keep scrolling. See what we can find on here.

Nick: *scrolls and clicks through pages* OOOOH look at THIS thread! "If all men would look like
Nick Carter" *clicks*

Howie: Obviously yet ANOTHER message board swarming with Nick fans *rolls eyes* It's amazing he can get his head thru the damn door...

AJ: *singsongs* Sooooooomeone is jeaaaaaaloussssssssss.

Howie: *takes a swing at AJ, completely misses and smacks Nick*

Nick: OUCH!! Dammit!!

Howie: At least it wasn't a complete miss. Just get outta there and keep looking.

AJ: Wait! Scroll back up. Backstreet Noise Project. WHY does that sound so familiar?
*clicks on thread*

Nick: Oh THESE chicks, I remember them

Howie: You do?

Nick: Yeah? Don’t you remember they were at one of our shows and some of them were on the cruise, see? *points to BNP logo*

Brian: Oh yeah I remember now

Nick: They seemed pretty harmless

AJ: I remember her, I remember her, I don't think we met her...

Brian: How do you possibly remember them? You don't even know what they look like

*boys read*

Nick: TeeHee Family Guy...

Brian: Loud moaning?

AJ: What's a BOB?

Howie: You think it stands for something?

Brian: The Beatles? This is a weird thread

AJ: Dildos?! WTF?!

Nick: Why am I in handcuffs? And why do they have me cleaning their office naked?

Howie: Why am I locked in a bathroom?

AJ: What the hell is a Tumby?

Brian: Who IS "Faceonshirt"?

*Howie, Nick and AJ look at him*

Brian: What?

AJ: Nothing

Nick: PFFFFT!!...synchronized swimmers

*Howie and AJ snicker*

Brian: What? What’s an anniversary party without synchronized swimmers?

Nick: Moving on...

Brian: Wow! There's thread's for everybody ... Nick, Howie, Nick, Me, Nick, AJ, Nick, Nick ... Hey even Kevin!!

AJ: Click on myyyyy thread

Nick: Ok ... *clicks*

Howie: Oh my GOD ... WHAT THE??

Brian: AAAAAHHH!! MY EYES!! MY VIRGIN EYES!!! *covers eyes*

Nick: Dude, what is WRONG with your fans?

AJ: Hehehehehehe! I love these RASO girls ... and HEY Look who's talking Carter! Your thread is basically crazies anonymous!

Nick: No, it's not!! I'll be the first to admit that for some reason, I do tend to attract A LOT of crazies ... but most of these girls seem normal ... sort of.

Howie: Ya, except for their vision problems...

Nick: Their WHAT???

Howie: Nothing, nothing ... let's see what else they have on this "Darkside"

Brian: Damn, this site has EVERYTHING, all the latest news, appearances, media, photos ... how do they FIND all this stuff?

AJ: I know, its trippy how they seem to know EVERYTHING ... like ... I didn't even know we were doing that!

Howie: I told you last week!! Don't you check your e-mail??

AJ: Which e-mail??

Howie: I dunno ... whichever one you gave me!

AJ: Oh ya ... THAT one ... I ALWAYS check that one ... *whistles*

Nick: Hang on ... what is THIS??

Brian: I still want to know who they mean by '“Faceonshirt”'

AJ: Are you kidding me?

Brian: What? You know I don't know what to feel about what these people say about us...so dirty

AJ: I like dirty

Nick: Me too

Brian: Well not me...

Howie, AJ and Nick: 'you're happily married'

Nick: We know, we know

AJ: You should have it trademarked already

Brian: Click on the unpopular opinion thread Nick


*they all read*


Nick: Oh

Howie: Well...

AJ: Hmmm

Brian: What? I agree with a lot of that to be honest

Nick: Oh god here we go

Brian: Well this is true I mean....

AJ: Step awaaaaaaaay from the soap box, seriously Brian don’t start

Brian: But.... but....

Nick: Brian it will just make you mad, like twitter

Brian: Well we can’t all be on there chirping about the Bucs. Some of us tweet to make a stand!

AJ: Ok..... Why don’t we visit the fanfic thread?


AJ: Awww

Howie: Just because you have your own personal porn stories starring you AJ doesn’t mean we all want to read it

Nick: At least he has some... *pokes Howie*

Howie: That’s low Nick... looooow.

Brian: I could do without reading about how I’m cheating on my wife.... again

AJ: What you prefer reading about your sexual experiments with Nick from before you were with "faceonshirt"? *chuckles*

Brian: That’s NOT funny! And stop calling wife that or I will have to block you on twitter with all the other nutters!

AJ: *holds hands up* Ok...yesh, touchy much.

Nick: This one looks interesting..."Things BSB will never say" *clicks*

All: *busts out laughing*

Nick: These chicks are crazy funny!! This shit is hysterical!!

AJ: Fo sho! I would NEVER give up my porn!!!!!!

Brian: *touches top of head* The monk comment kinda stings.

AJ: HA! Welcome to my world dude!

Howie: *primps hair in mirror* Well, at least Nick and I don't have that problem.

Brian and AJ: Shut it Howard!

*Brian, AJ and Howie all start sniffing the air and start waving their hands in front of their faces*

AJ: Jesus Nick!! What the FUCK did you eat for dinner dude?! That shit is RANK!!

Nick: Sorry...its better not to keep that stuff bottled up

*Howie walks over and opens a window and turns on fan*

Howie: Nick, you need an assplug buddy...that crap is nasty

Nick: Sorry? *shrugs*

Brian: Can we just get back to checkin this site out, please? And Nick, warning next time!!!

Nick: Hey, there's different areas to this board. *clicks the Graphics topic* WOW! Look at some of
this stuff! These girls have some crazy talent! I might have to hire this Maneth girl to do some graphic work for me.

Brian: I didn't know you could take videos and make those pictures...COOL!

AJ: WOW! Look at those of my Monkee! So beautiful!

Howie: I don't see any of me.

Nick: Shocker there huh?

All: *laughs hysterically*

AJ: Dude....*shakes head* Never mind...

*keeps reading through threads*

AJ: LOOK! They have a Kevin's Bitches thread!

Nick: I'm afraid to click on it, it must be one of those "oh migaaaawd Kevin come back!!" threads

Brian: Kevin Bitches *snorts* he sure looks like a pimp with that ugly-ass ring he wears on his pinky...

Howie: I'm surprised they still talk about Kevin...

Nick: I'm surprised they have a thread for your album *laughs*

AJ: *rolls eyes* Shut the fuck up you two!

AJ: I gotta tell Kevin that he still got it going on...uh...no pun intended. *grabs cell phone*

LA, 6PM - Kevin's backyard:

*Kevin picks up cell phone, looks at caller ID and sighs heavily*


AJ: Yo dude, chill! I Don't want you to come back!

Kevin: Oh...really?

AJ: Yeah, rehab taught me, for the third time, that I have to let go of things if I wanna be happy. Dude, listen up, I need you to go back into the house and log in on your computer!

Kevin: What's makes you think I'm not inside my house?

AJ: You're done shooting that soft porn movie of yours, aren't you?

Kevin: It's NOT PORN, it's a movie about the hypocrisy of society back in the 60's and...

AJ: .And cooking casseroles and fucking your neighbor's wife, got it! Now leave the grass alone and get your lap-top!

*Kevin goes inside the house and logs into website given by AJ*

Kevin: Now what?? If you guys wanted me to know that Howie has an album, Nick has an album, you went to rehab, there's a noisy project about Backstreet you could have just tell me instead of making me...wait..."The Kevin Bitches thread'?? What the hell?

AJ: YES! THIS! DUDE you still gots DA BITCHES *jumps up and down* How awesome is that?

Brian: *looks at AJ and says a silent prayer*

Kevin: Wow, this is...I mean...yeah baby, this old man still got it huh? *smirks and looks proudly at ugly-ass ring on pinky*

AJ: You still there?

Kevin: Uh...yes... *licks lips loudly and caresses chest while reading the thread*

AJ: Dude, don't tell me...dude, EW what the hell are you doing? Did you just lick your lips??

Kevin: What?? I...NO!!

AJ: *hangs up on Kevin* EWWWW!! EWWWW!!! Fucking EW!!

Howie: So, did he enjoy his thread?

AJ: A little too much, yes! *drops cell phone and shudders*

Nick: *clicks, types, erase, types again* Shit, I can't type!

Brian: What you doing??

Nick: I'm joining TDS! What you think I'm doing??

Brian: Oh Dear Lord, bless his soul....

Nick: All I need is a screen name… *thinks hard*

Nick: GOT IT! *types* “ IHaveAHighCrack”

*Brian falls off of chair laughing*


We've got it going on video review

Welcoming back our vid reiviews! Some of you may already know and love them, other of you may be going... huh? Either way here We've got it going on for your reading enjoyment, link to video under picture.

So... which one will follow next week? Only one way to find out... stay tuned... ENJOY :)


Ok so we are going way back here! To 1995 to be exact! We have some very young Backstreet action going on here!

0:00 - 1:00
We start off with the boys in a Radio station, DJs must have become more closed-minded these days obviously because it appears they have actually been invited!
Oh and theres five of them! oh yes! Brian starts goofing around and dancing as the lady introduces them, nice to see he hasnt changed.
Howie is standing next to him and looks like a rabbit caught in some car headlights (a very handsome rabbit). They all introduce themselves one by one and from first view we can see that Brian calls himself the Brokster, Howie speaks spanish, Nick is very young and hasnt washed his hair for a few days, AJ much prefers the J part of his name and it appears Kevin may have just had a few beers to steady his nerves.
Then.... Cue the Video.... which they enjoyed, very much!

They're in a room standing next to microphones... there's a lot of hand waving and baggy BAGGY clothes going on here and what appears to be an exercise bicycle in the right hand corner of the room or at least some sort of gym equipment?!
I can only assume this is what they put Brian on between takes to wear him out and stop him bouncing off the walls and getting all hyper.

Then they are on stage, the clothes are again baggy, now I'm wondering if they are all wearing Kevin's clothes?
What happened guys?
Did the rest of you lose your suitcases at the airport?
Did someone steal all of your clothes and perhaps leave you nude?

That's quite an interesting thought, but I'm getting off topic.
The dancing isn't bad: AJ's out front with Howie giving it his all, but I'm still kinda lost in the baggy Sweater with flailing sleeves that appear to have a life of their own.

Howie looks like he's about to go jogging as he struts across the screen in the first shot. Oh, then we get an outside shot with the guys, Brian makes a gesture as if he is about to take flight, very superman, perhaps its time for a go of the gym equipment? However, they are wearing yet more of Kevin's wardrobe.
Kev mate, just take charge! Tell them they are all taking the ****, the clothes are too big, they all look silly and demand your clothes back.

At the end of the first minute, it appears Brian has had to be calmed down yet again between takes as theres a shot of him with part of a set of weights next to him, I guess this was a kinder option than sedating him.
Suddenly Nick and Brian are washing a car! Nick has his hat on sideways, that is sooooo cool dude! Nick gestures at the pretty lady washing the window screen, Brian reminds him he is underage. Then Brian's standing by a motorcycle looking all angry as AJ walks along behind him like ape that has soiled his underpants.

1:00 - 2:00
I've just noticed the number plate of the Jeep says Brok hehehe. Brian obviously likes a clean vehicle!
Cue lots more dancing on the stage in baggy clothes... my god... AJ has HAIR!

They then appear to retreat into some bushes/trees, perhaps this is so AJ can relieve himself after the soiled underpants. They play a little basket ball then start dancing around underneath a ceiling fan, please boys, stop waving your arms above your head!
Do you not have a Health and Safety representative on set? Obviously he left with your stylist: leather waistcoats over denim shirts????? What were they thinking?

Brian's basketball skills appear to have impressed the lady he conned into washing his jeep-- she sprays him in the face with the hose. This video is quite action packed because they then begin a game of pool!

Lots more dancing around in the leather and denim combo and then AJ puts his money where his mouth is and bets on the pool game, a lady promptly picks up is money and sticks it down her bra... what a classy bird!

Kevin meanwhile is weight lifting and pouring water over himself, AJ takes a shot at the pool table that even my grandmother couldn't miss and Howie's doing his best Patrick Swayze impression and having a bit of a dirty dance, Howie you are a dark horse!

Kevin then commits grand theft auto by "borrowing" one of the motorcycles and riding around with a lady for all of a second or two. Kevin is rather busy in this section of the video, particularly with dancing (around 2:35 he appears to be waving a plane in to land, despite the fact hes inside).

Whilst this is going on Kevin gets on the phone and appears to ring Brian on his mobile... from the same room, while Howie plays video games? (and people complained the "Straight Through My Heart" video makes NO sense lol).

3:10 - End
Around 3:10ish the boys appear to start doing some ritualistic rain dance with their elbows.

The dancing kicks up a gear, and it's a basket ball themed dance. Yay some hot booty shaking Backstreet action!
AJ wins his pool game and gets his money back, I'm still astonished by the amount of hair he has...I mean had.
They continue to dance around under the ceiling fan, this is NOT "The Perfect Fan" so don't come crying to me if you lose fingers!

Then it's all over, by the motorcycles.
Now I see why the Radio stations dont invite them back, they get a lil side tracked! lol


Nick's Noisy Birthday: Round 2

Happy Birthday Nick!! We Noisy Girls are just SO excited about all your new songs. Not that we listened to any of them that have been leaked or anything ... no no ... we would never do that! We just ummm ... GUESSED that uhh ... the whole ... "I'm Taking Off" thing had to do with space ... we saw some stuff on Twitter and uhhh ... well, we're just naturally brilliant like that.
Anyhoodles, we hope that you and all our noisy follwers enjoy this piece inspired by your new album!! :)

The boys were hard at work in the studio, but it was Nick's birthday and so Brian, AJ, and Howie had a few surprises up their sleeve for Nick. They were all ready to get the party started but they couldn't find Nick anywhere. Then they heard some strange noises coming from the back room ...

Nick: VROOOM VROOOM!! Time for warp speed team!!!

Brian: *Hears noise* Hey fellas... what's that noise?

Howie:*checks hair for the millionth time* Dammit! #72 won't stay in place! *looks up* What?

AJ: Rainbows, puppies and kittens lollipops, clowns and cake … mmm … cake

Nick: Oh no!! Aliens!!! PEW!! PEW!!!

Brian: *Walks around corner* Oh my goodness! Nicks got a rocket!!!!!!

AJ: I wonder if they made Nick's birthday cake yet

Howie: Look... I think Nick is reliving the Larger than Life video...

Nick: Hey guys!! Come join me in my rocket!!

Brian: Cool! *runs over* Nick!!! Nick!!! Can I play!!!?

AJ: I could actually use a smoke right now...NO! Bad Alex, more happy thoughts

Nick: Sure Rok ... you can be Spock!! Hehehehehe! That rhymes.

AJ: Ballerinas

Howie: *looks at Nick like he's lost his peapickin mind*

Brian: But Spock's strange... can’t I be Kirk?

Nick: No, I'm Kirk!!

Brian: But.... Niiiiiiick! *frowns*

AJ: Can I play? I wanna be Hans!

Nick: Hans?? That's Star Wars AJ!! I’m playing Star TREK

AJ: Oh...well then screw this!

Brian: Hahaha *points at AJ* You can’t play now! *jumps in beside Nick*

Nick: It's my birthday Brian!! Come on ... be Spock!!!

Howie: I gotta go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.

AJ: must.resist.smoking.urge

Brian: Live long and prosper dude! This is awesome!

Nick: Alright ... so we just entered warp speed and I'm trying to defeat the aliens

Brian: *shouts* Raise shields!!!

AJ: Where's that cake?

Nick: Cake? There’s no time for cake!! We have an alien army attacking this ship!!

Howie: *comes back in carrying Nick's rocket-shaped cake*

AJ: CAKE!!!!

Nick: D ... please tell me you didn't have that in the bathroom with you?

Howie: *winks*

AJ: That's just nasty

Howie: Where else was I gonna hide it!?!

Nick: DUDE!! ... Do you KNOW what I do in there??

AJ: Okay that's it I’m having a smoke

Brian: AJ just ask yourself... what would Jesus do?

AJ: He would want me to be happy *puffs*

Brian: *gets up and inspects cake* Howie is that chocolate cake?

Howie: Ok fine... don't eat the chocolate cake with ice cream filling. Don't bother me none.

Nick: Ice cream??? ... hmmm

Brian: AJ can’t play rocket ship or have the cake... best light up that smoke dude LOL

AJ: Ice cream??? Shut it choir boy, GIMME THAT CAKE!!

Nick: *grabs a fork and shoves 10 bites down throat*

Howie: Careful! You'll give yourself a brain freeze!

Brian: Woah! Woah!!! We were supposed to say grace NICK! *glares*

AJ: GRACE! Happy now?

Nick: *talks with mouth full* Sorry!

Brian: *shakes head*

Howie: EWWWWW! Cake spit!! *wipes face and busts out Purell*

Nick: hehehehehehe! *licks Howie*

Howie: EW EW EWWWW!! *dumps Purell over head*

Brian: *jumps back in rocket* Hey Nick... I’m.... *snorts* I'm.... taking off!!!!! *looks astonished* I am so damn funny!

Nick: *shoves down 5 more bites of cake* Wait for me!! I'm the captain!!

AJ: I know! Every time I have an urge to smoke, I shall pull Howie's ear

Howie: Wait..what the hell do I look like? A security blanket?

AJ: *tugs*

Brian: *starts bouncing* Beam me up Nick!!!! Beam me up!!!

Nick: Kirk!! You gotta call me Kirk!! We're playing Star Trek!!

Brian: Ok ok... Spok to Kirk... one to beam up!

Howie: But ...wasn't the line "beam me up Scotty"?

AJ: *pulls Howie's ear*

Nick: Scotty?? There's no Scotty in Star Trek!! Howie!! You gotta play right!!

Brian: *glares at Howie*

Howie: *sigh* I. give. up. *goes back to the bathroom*

AJ: Star Trek is lame, no Darth Vader, I mean come on!

Nick: Alright ... Spock ... prep the lazers!!

Brian: *picks up a stick and points it at AJ* It’s set to stun!

AJ: And I wanted to be Hans! *pouts*

Howie: *comes back out* I wanna play! Can I be Jabba The Hut?

Nick: Jabba the?? ... STAR TREK!!! ... NOT WARS!! ...UGH! … AJ ... you can be the chick ... I can't remember her name but ... there was definitely a chick in Star Trek

AJ: Do I get boobs?

Howie: Like I know these movies apart! I'll be whoever you want Nick.

Nick: Alright ... Howie can be the dude with the cool glasses that go all around his head

AJ: Levar Burton?

Howie: Glasses? Shouldn't AJ be that dude?

Nick: NO! ... AJ is the girl ... the one with the weird name ... Uhora or something

AJ: Did you just call me a whore?!

Brian: Oh boy

AJ: I am not a whore, you're the biggest whore of them all!

Howie: Ok.! AJ! Don't make me go all Kevin on your asses!!!!

Nick: Or wait ... Howie do you wanna be the guy with the ridges on his head?

Brian: The green one? Howie should be the green robot man!

Howie: Ugh … fine! But this guy better have superpowers or something cool like that!

Nick: Spock!! Make them stop questioning the captain!!

Brian: *mind melds with Howie* You are a green android called Data. You are very clever but have no emotion

Nick: Ya ... that's perfect for Howie!

Howie: Data? OOOO I like that name! I'm full of all kinds of data...like with my condo sales and all!

AJ: Ya, he's pretty much just boring all around

Nick: Alright now ... the alien army is coming ... we need to prepare ourselves!

Howie: *tucks head between knees*

Brian: Arm fazers!

AJ: I'm going to the bathroom

Howie: AJ!!! I wouldn’t if I were you!!! Too many beans on those tacos last night … I knew better than that too..

Nick: No time for bathroom breaks now Uhora ... we're about to go into warp speed!! *pushes a bunch of buttons*

AJ: Stop calling me a whore you little bitch!

Nick: DAMNIT!! I'm the CAPTAIN ... you can't call me a bitch!!

AJ: William Shatner

Brian: Aliens! Starboard side captain!


Howie: There's torpedoes in space?

Brian: Firing torpedoes!

Nick: Sure there are!! Why not?

AJ: *hides*

Howie: I just thought those were only in water… of all people YOU should know that Nicky.

Brian: Howieeeeeeee you're spoiling our game!

Nick: Exactly!! Just go with it. Now you're supposed to be a little green robot!!

Howie: Ugh! Fine. I'll just sit here and look pretty.

Nick: Pretty?? Pfffffffftttt! *snickers*

Brian: You find green robots attractive?

Nick: Ok, give me the specs Data!!

Howie: Specks of what? I don't have dandruff!!!

Nick: The specs!! Of the ship!! What's the condition?? They're firing!!

AJ: If I were you I'd be more concerned about that bald spot where hairs 50 through 61 used to be

Howie: I use conditioner! I can run home if you need it!

Nick: *shakes head*

Brian: Androids don’t use conditioner!

Howie: Well then, I bet they have a lot of dead ends.

AJ: I have the force

Nick: Oh no!! We're entering a meteor field!!

Brian: *whines* Nick can't we play this by ourselves; Howie’s spoiling it and AJ thinks he’s Darth Vader!

AJ: Hey I should get a tattoo of the death star when all my hair's gone

Nick: You're right Bri! AJ, Howie ... you are banned from the ship!! Please dismount immediately!!

AJ: Yeah you two would know about dismounting.

Howie: Dismount? EWW!!!

Nick: You know what I mean!!! Get off!!

Brian: *points stick at AJ and Howie* Its set to kill now, get off!

AJ: Now you're telling us to get off?? Ya, that doesn't sound any better.

Howie: Get off? You two are disturbing.

Brian: Don’t make me get the big ugly alien security dude with the temper!

Howie: AJ, I think those two need a little "time" together. Let's go have some cake.

AJ: Fine. I'm going to have a smoke and nothing nobody says is going to stop me! *leaves singing Prince's Get Off"

Nick: Ugh! Finally!

Brian: Yay! *embraces Nick* Ok ... lets go kill some aliens!

Nick: Yes! Now Spock, you'll have to help me navigate through the meteor field. I'll stear, you blast the meteors!

Brian: Ok! *points stick* This is fun! *begins singing Rocket man by Elton John*

Howie: Psssst..AJ! Let's throw rocks at the box "rocket" and yell METEOR SHOWER!!!!!

Nick: I can hear the aliens Spock! They must be in the middle of the field!!

Brian: Yes captain, I sense their presence *gets hit by a rock* Ooooooooooowwwwwwwww my nose!!!

Nick: Aaaaaah!! What the HELL was that??

Howie: *throws another rock*


AJ: *in Darth Vader voice* Luke, I am your FATHER

Brian: What!? Im hearing voices!!! God is that you!?

Howie: Nick, will you STOP mounting things! That’s disgusting!

Nick: *jumps out of the box and starts "shooting" * PEW!! PEW!! PEW!!!

Brian: *jumps out and fights like a ninja* I need no gun captain! *kicks AJ in the head accidentally*

AJ: AAAH! *takes off pants and waves ‘light saber’ around in the air*

Howie: AJ! Wrong light saber dude. Put that thing away!!

AJ: I like overcompensating. Mine glows too!

Nick: *holds "gun" up to Howie's head* Don't move or I'll shoot!!

Howie: *stops, looks at Nick, throws another rock at the box*

AJ: *whacks Brian* Yeah, feel the force!

Brian: Hi yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! *ninja chops* Whoa! Hang on ... don’t hit me with THAT! That’s unholy!

Nick: EW!! AJ!! Put your pants back on!!!

AJ: NEVER!!!!!!!!! Yeah check this out, I know you're jealous!

Brian: Howieeeeeeeeeeeee! AJ's got his weener out!!!! *cries*

AJ: *runs and then falls and trips*

Brian: This is not supposed to be the Star Trek version of porn!

Nick: Howie!! I command you to make AJ put his pants back on!!! *covers eyes*

AJ: Its Star Whores!

Howie: *sighs* AJ, we talked about this. The pants must stay on. No one wants to see the zebra stripped skivvies or...THAT. Come on buddy. Do it and you can have a ciggerette.

AJ: Okay *eyes piñata*

Nick: Can I uncover my eyes now??

AJ: Yes

Howie: Yes, its safe. And NO AJ, you can NOT use your "light saber" for the piñata.

AJ: Damn! *walks away humming Star Wars theme*

Nick: There's a piñata??

Brian: Oooh piñata?!?

Nick: *holds "gun" back up to Howie's head* Take me to your piñata!

Howie: *points the the rocket shaped piñata in the tree* Have at it boys!

Nick: Ooooh!! *runs over and put on blindfold* Alright ... someone call ground control ... cuz I'm taking off! *picks up stick* 5 … 4 … 3 …

Howie: Ok .. maybe this wasn't such a great idea. Nick, blindfolded, with a bat

Nick: 2 … 1 … WHACK!!!

AJ: Oh god! *runs inside*

Brian: *runs over and starts whacking*

Howie: OUCH!!!! That hurts!! Stop!!!!

Nick: Ohhh!! Sorry Howie!!

AJ: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Nick: Point me in the direction of the piñata!!

Howie: Brian,YOU do it. I think he broke my arm!

Brian: *sings* I want candy! *shakes ass*

Nick: *starts swinging around randomly*

Howie: *dives into bushes*

Nick: Am I close??

Brian: *points* Come on Nick higher!

AJ: That was also sexual

Howie: Brian! WHY are you pointing!?! He's BLINDFOLDED!!!!!!

Brian: Don’t make me go get Leighanne for bible studies AJ!

Nick: Higher?? ... *swings stick above head*

AJ: How many blondes does it take to break open a pinata?

Brian: *lifts Nick onto shoulders* Jesus dude... you put on a few pounds?

Nick: It's all that cake! Alright now ... CHARGE!!

Howie: This is so not gonna end well...

Nick: *swings stick around*

Brian: *strains* hhhhhiiiiighhherr


Brian: *wobbles* To the left Nicky!!

Howie: *video tapes for later blackmail material*

Nick: Am I hitting it yet??

AJ: What is with you people and the sexual references?

Brian: What’s that smell? Have you just farted on me?

Nick: OOOPS! ... Sorry B-Rok!! *snickers*

Howie: Sorry Brian! It's all those beans last night!

Brian: Oooooh no ... thats sick dude *wobbles*

AJ: Ahahahahahahahahaha! Right by your mouth too dude!

Brian: Get down!

AJ: And move it all around

Nick: No! I’ve almost … aaaaahhh!! ... stop wobbling dawg! ... I'm gonna ... aaaaah ... aaaahh ... AAAAAHHHHHH!!! *falls*

Brian: *falls to the ground* THUD!

Howie: *facepalms*

AJ: I think you just killed Brian

Nick: *takes off blindfold* ... Did we at least get the candy??

Brian: I think I broke my leg ya'll

Howie: *walks over, takes pinata down, cracks it open and throws candy*

Nick: YAY!!! Candy! *runs around picking it all up and shoving it in pockets*

Howie: Now that I have a broken arm and Brian has a broken leg, I think this party should wrap up before we all end up in body casts or bags.

Nick: But, but ... I'm not tiiiiired yet!!! *pouts, then eats candy*

Brian: Can someone call me an ambulance? There’s bone sticking out. Oh my gosh, Leighanne is gonna kill me

Howie: Nick damn near beat her to it!

Nick: Here Bri ... have some candy!

Brian: Oooh candy! *sticks some up nostrils and pulls a face* hehehehhehe!

Nick: *runs around shooting imaginary aliens*

AJ: *lights up another cigarette*

Howie: I really should have thought this through a little better. Nick, blindfolded, with a stick and candy. I'm goin home. Happy Birthday Nick! Hope that leg heals before tour Brian! AJ...happy puffing! Goodbye!!


Howie: *walks down the sidewalk shaking head* HOW did Kevin DO it?

AJ: Yeah and I'm going home because someone there actually ENJOYS my lightsaber!

Nick: PLEASE don't take that out again AJ! Just go!!

Brian: Wait ... what about my ambulance? Somebody? Hey the doctor on star trek was a hot lady... can you call her?

Nick: Never fear Spock ... I'll save you!! *picks up Brian*

Brian: *perks up* To the medical bay!!!!!!!

Nick: *runs*