Brian's Birthday Diary

You didn't think we'd forgotten Brian's Birthday did you?!? OF COURSE NOT!! We just thought we'd try something new and do a little after the fact/recap of how we imagine B-Rok's B-Day went down in Brazil (wow, that's a lot of B's). Here is the Noisy version of Brian's Birthday Diary ...

Dear Diary,

So I had to spend my birthday in Brazil this year. I thought it wouldn’t be too bad, nice weather, wifey, son and I would just have a nice quiet evening in our lovely hotel room. With the Lord watching down on us how could anything go wrong?

Now it started out ok, wifey and son brought me out a cake on stage. Wifey looked super sexy in her denim overalls, she knows how I like that farmer look. The rest of the boys led the crowd in a rendition of Happy Birthday which was nice. And my son gave me a big hug at the end. We like to be crazy adorable and mushy like that. The cake was of course delicious, although we didn’t eat it ‘till after the show. We like to wait to do that kinda stuff so that fans think they’ll be able to see us coming out. Then we just sit backstage laughing and definitely NOT sharing our cake with them. And when we’re done we just fall asleep and get driven out of there. But this time, since it was my birthday, we decided to stay awake. BIG MISTAKE!

When we got back to the hotel it took us forever to get through the crowd of screaming fans. I didn’t even notice one had attached herself to my leg ‘till she almost got caught in the elevator. Oh the Brazilians. I managed to kick her off but we got stuck on the elevator with Howie who INSISTED on coming back to our room so James could wish me Happy Birthday. There’s an hour of my life I’ll never get back. The kid is ONE!! When they actually got him to “talk” I don’t even think he was saying actual words! Just making random baby noises!! Anyways, we finally got Howie to leave and wifey was just getting the party hats out when we heard banging on the window. Some crazy people had SCALED the building and we’re trying to look in at my party! It took 20 minutes to get security and another 40 to get these lunatics safely off the building. At that point it was getting late and son was getting tired, but we decided we had enough time for a round of pin the tail on the donkey. We were just getting started when Nick came barging in claiming he was bored. We couldn’t get him to leave so we just decided to let him play. That was my second big mistake of the night! After the THIRD time Nick tried to pin the tail on MY behind and then laugh hysterically, I threw his ass out. At that point son was asleep so wifey and I put his ear plugs in, turned the lights off, and decided to get down to business. It WAS my birthday after all! I had just gotten my swim cap on when we heard a noise. At first I thought it was nothing but then we heard it again. Then wifey screamed!! I looked over and saw AJ popping out from under the bed!! He claimed he just wanted to listen but I was outraged and started yelling at him. But then he just started crying about how he was lonely and missed his monkee. We spent the rest of the night consoling AJ who finally fell asleep at 4am in the fetal position between wifey and I.

WORST. BIRTHDAY. EVER!!

God Bless,

Brian

BUT WAIT!!! It's not over yet!! We couldn't just leave you wondering why AJ was under the bed could we?? Here's AJ's Noisy Diary from Brian's Birthday ...

Dear Dizzle Diary,

In Brazil baby! Woah the people here are C.R.A.Z.Y and err.... colorful, but its ok I like transvestites... and gay people... and lesbians ... mhhhhh lesbians...... I really like lesbians. Sex with lesbians.... now that would be.... hmmm...
*crosses out*
Sorry sorry,

Got a little side tracked there. Its Rochelle’s fault... she’s not here. I’m horny... and I have no outlet.
Anyway, moving on ITS BRIANS BIRTHDAY!!! wooohooo! And it’s been a great day! *starts singing birthday sex* Birthday… sex.... *grinds* oh yeah.... hmm birthday sex with lesbians... hmmmm

*Crosses it out* WHAT, sorry. I’m doing it again. *slaps self*

Well we had a great show for Broks birthday... Faceonshirt bought a cake out for him with Baylee and we all sang to him, he looked so happy. It was great. Faceonshirt had these tight demins on... and a pair of hooker boots... ahhh man... Birthday sex... with lesbians... dressed in tight demin and hooker boots *sighs* hmmmmmm

*crosses it out* Sorry... my bad

I dunno what happened but after the show I somehow ended up underneath Brains bed... I don’t know how it happened, last thing I remembered was going in there to find a pair of Leighannes underwear to wear to jack off into.... err..... Wear to..... Err........ Wear...... to... *flusters* BED! err.. Wear to BED! And I ended up under the bed. Howie finally left after what seemed like an eternity but then Nick came in… it was really hard not to scream when he stepped on my hand chasing Brian’s ass with a pin. Did you know Brian wears a swim cap to bed? I wish I had thought of that when I started to lose my hair. Anyway the swim cap thing got me all hot and bothered... Hmmm birthday sex… with Lesbians… dressed in tight denim and hooker boots… with swim caps on… ohhhh man….
*crosses out*
I sneezed… Leighanne screamed
I was fucking disappointed after laying there for hours I was soooo close to hearing some hot sexy action
*crosses out*
I couldn’t explain why I was there, so burst into tears… I miss my monkee, It was so good to let it all out. When I woke up this morning I was in bed in between Leighanne and Brian, I thought that would be ok, until I saw the huuuuuge morning erection that I had … err…. problem with this situation and thought I had better get the hell out of there before Leighanne killed meerr… things got embarrassing.

Anyway I got a busy day, its hot out here in Brazil! Hot…. Hot like lesbians…. hhhmmmm

AJizzle

Thought we were done? NOT YET!! We've gotta give you Nick's thoughts on the evening!

Dear Diary, (er Journal...I'm a guy, guys don't have diaries!) Its Bri's birthday!!! Yay! I had this awesome plan worked out for after the show, we were going to hit up the best spot in town! That's right, the best place to spend your birthday ... McDonald's!! Brazil has McDonald's did you know that? I didn't. Actually I didn't even know where Brazil was before 2000. I even went online to check if the tubes in the play center could hold all of our weight. All that awesome work for nothing! Faceonshirt decided to have a "family party". Ugh, you know she even came on stage with a cake for Bri, wearing overalls? Overalls!! I used to wear those things back in the 90's! I'm no fashion maven but I do know that overalls are out of style. So unfair... I wanted a cheeseburger! *pouts* So anyways I decided to crash their little family party after I couldn't find AJ. It was weird he just up and disappeared. I got there just as soon as Howie was leaving. He was on the phone with James and he didn't let me go into the room until James said bye bye. The kid doesn't know how to talk so it took forever, I eventually just walked away. So, I busted into the room and Baylee wanted me to play "pin the tail on the donkey". Damn blindfold! I remember stepping on something and hearing a crunch and then a slight grumble. That was odd. Then Brian kept screaming at me because I kept trying to pin the tail on him. Geeze dude, lighten up! It doesn't hurt that bad! Anyways Brian got mad and kicked me out because he and faceonshirt wanted to be alone. You know at first when he mentioned a swim cap I thought he meant ... well you know. Anyways now I'm bored, I wonder what AJ's doing ... Nick

BNP celebrates The DarkSide's 1st Anniversary

It was a lonely Wednesday at 2:45am, BSB was on another leg of their never ending tour, and Nick couldn't sleep. So naturally, he decided to check out LD for some crazy fan entertainment. Unfortunately for Nick ... LD was nowhere to be found...


Nick: Damn! What you mean there's no more LD? How else am I supposed to find out what all the latest rumors about us are?? Oh wait ... it's redirecting me to some place called "AfterLD" *clicks* ... Well this sucks! This place is deader than Howie's Fan Conventions!! Where did everyone GO??

Several minutes of investigating later

Nick: Ooooh! This looks promising ... The Darkside *clicks* ... Oh wow ... JACKPOT!! ... I've gotta tell the other guys about this!

Brian: What you looking at Nicky?

Nick: *minimises* DON'T sneak up on me like that!

Brian: You looking at porn?

Nick: No

Brian: AJ!!!! HOWIE!!! Come here, Nick's looking at porn!

*AJ comes running* *Howie wanders over*

AJ: PORN? *cheesy grin*

Nick: It’s NOT porn, look *maximises* Its "The Darkside" it’s the new LD!

Howie: Oh no, no no no. WHY are you reading that? LD was... well...

AJ: Full of psychos?

Nick: Yeah but this place seems ok, look there’s even a thread about you Howie "The Pest twittered.... world survived"

*Boys roar with laughter, except Howie*

Howie: PEST? PEST? Why are they making me sound like a cockroach? Oh look they have a thread about MY album!!!! *beams with pride*

Brian: Aww that’s so sweet, they are obviously really nice people to bother with a thread for that *grins*

Howie: *glares at Brian*

Nick: HA! Look at me go! MY album thread is already on #5! Go me!! *does cabbagepatch dance*

Brian: *smacks Nick in the back of the head* Keep scrolling. See what we can find on here.

Nick: *scrolls and clicks through pages* OOOOH look at THIS thread! "If all men would look like
Nick Carter" *clicks*

Howie: Obviously yet ANOTHER message board swarming with Nick fans *rolls eyes* It's amazing he can get his head thru the damn door...

AJ: *singsongs* Sooooooomeone is jeaaaaaaloussssssssss.

Howie: *takes a swing at AJ, completely misses and smacks Nick*

Nick: OUCH!! Dammit!!

Howie: At least it wasn't a complete miss. Just get outta there and keep looking.

AJ: Wait! Scroll back up. Backstreet Noise Project. WHY does that sound so familiar?
*clicks on thread*

Nick: Oh THESE chicks, I remember them

Howie: You do?

Nick: Yeah? Don’t you remember they were at one of our shows and some of them were on the cruise, see? *points to BNP logo*

Brian: Oh yeah I remember now

Nick: They seemed pretty harmless

AJ: I remember her, I remember her, I don't think we met her...

Brian: How do you possibly remember them? You don't even know what they look like

*boys read*

Nick: TeeHee Family Guy...

Brian: Loud moaning?

AJ: What's a BOB?

Howie: You think it stands for something?

Brian: The Beatles? This is a weird thread

AJ: Dildos?! WTF?!

Nick: Why am I in handcuffs? And why do they have me cleaning their office naked?

Howie: Why am I locked in a bathroom?

AJ: What the hell is a Tumby?

Brian: Who IS "Faceonshirt"?

*Howie, Nick and AJ look at him*

Brian: What?

AJ: Nothing

Nick: PFFFFT!!...synchronized swimmers

*Howie and AJ snicker*

Brian: What? What’s an anniversary party without synchronized swimmers?

Nick: Moving on...

Brian: Wow! There's thread's for everybody ... Nick, Howie, Nick, Me, Nick, AJ, Nick, Nick ... Hey even Kevin!!

AJ: Click on myyyyy thread

Nick: Ok ... *clicks*

Howie: Oh my GOD ... WHAT THE??

Brian: AAAAAHHH!! MY EYES!! MY VIRGIN EYES!!! *covers eyes*

Nick: Dude, what is WRONG with your fans?

AJ: Hehehehehehe! I love these RASO girls ... and HEY Look who's talking Carter! Your thread is basically crazies anonymous!

Nick: No, it's not!! I'll be the first to admit that for some reason, I do tend to attract A LOT of crazies ... but most of these girls seem normal ... sort of.

Howie: Ya, except for their vision problems...

Nick: Their WHAT???

Howie: Nothing, nothing ... let's see what else they have on this "Darkside"

Brian: Damn, this site has EVERYTHING, all the latest news, appearances, media, photos ... how do they FIND all this stuff?

AJ: I know, its trippy how they seem to know EVERYTHING ... like ... I didn't even know we were doing that!

Howie: I told you last week!! Don't you check your e-mail??

AJ: Which e-mail??

Howie: I dunno ... whichever one you gave me!

AJ: Oh ya ... THAT one ... I ALWAYS check that one ... *whistles*

Nick: Hang on ... what is THIS??

Brian: I still want to know who they mean by '“Faceonshirt”'

AJ: Are you kidding me?

Brian: What? You know I don't know what to feel about what these people say about us...so dirty

AJ: I like dirty

Nick: Me too

Brian: Well not me...

Howie, AJ and Nick: 'you're happily married'

Nick: We know, we know

AJ: You should have it trademarked already

Brian: Click on the unpopular opinion thread Nick

*clicks*

*they all read*

*silence*

Nick: Oh

Howie: Well...

AJ: Hmmm

Brian: What? I agree with a lot of that to be honest

Nick: Oh god here we go

Brian: Well this is true I mean....

AJ: Step awaaaaaaaay from the soap box, seriously Brian don’t start

Brian: But.... but....

Nick: Brian it will just make you mad, like twitter

Brian: Well we can’t all be on there chirping about the Bucs. Some of us tweet to make a stand!

AJ: Ok..... Why don’t we visit the fanfic thread?

ALL: NO

AJ: Awww

Howie: Just because you have your own personal porn stories starring you AJ doesn’t mean we all want to read it

Nick: At least he has some... *pokes Howie*

Howie: That’s low Nick... looooow.

Brian: I could do without reading about how I’m cheating on my wife.... again

AJ: What you prefer reading about your sexual experiments with Nick from before you were with "faceonshirt"? *chuckles*

Brian: That’s NOT funny! And stop calling wife that or I will have to block you on twitter with all the other nutters!

AJ: *holds hands up* Ok...yesh, touchy much.

Nick: This one looks interesting..."Things BSB will never say" *clicks*

All: *busts out laughing*

Nick: These chicks are crazy funny!! This shit is hysterical!!

AJ: Fo sho! I would NEVER give up my porn!!!!!!

Brian: *touches top of head* The monk comment kinda stings.

AJ: HA! Welcome to my world dude!

Howie: *primps hair in mirror* Well, at least Nick and I don't have that problem.

Brian and AJ: Shut it Howard!

*Brian, AJ and Howie all start sniffing the air and start waving their hands in front of their faces*

AJ: Jesus Nick!! What the FUCK did you eat for dinner dude?! That shit is RANK!!

Nick: Sorry...its better not to keep that stuff bottled up

*Howie walks over and opens a window and turns on fan*

Howie: Nick, you need an assplug buddy...that crap is nasty

Nick: Sorry? *shrugs*

Brian: Can we just get back to checkin this site out, please? And Nick, warning next time!!!

Nick: Hey, there's different areas to this board. *clicks the Graphics topic* WOW! Look at some of
this stuff! These girls have some crazy talent! I might have to hire this Maneth girl to do some graphic work for me.

Brian: I didn't know you could take videos and make those pictures...COOL!

AJ: WOW! Look at those of my Monkee! So beautiful!

Howie: I don't see any of me.

Nick: Shocker there huh?

All: *laughs hysterically*

AJ: Dude....*shakes head* Never mind...

*keeps reading through threads*

AJ: LOOK! They have a Kevin's Bitches thread!

Nick: I'm afraid to click on it, it must be one of those "oh migaaaawd Kevin come back!!" threads

Brian: Kevin Bitches *snorts* he sure looks like a pimp with that ugly-ass ring he wears on his pinky...

Howie: I'm surprised they still talk about Kevin...

Nick: I'm surprised they have a thread for your album *laughs*

AJ: *rolls eyes* Shut the fuck up you two!

AJ: I gotta tell Kevin that he still got it going on...uh...no pun intended. *grabs cell phone*


LA, 6PM - Kevin's backyard:

*Kevin picks up cell phone, looks at caller ID and sighs heavily*

KEVIN: AJ, I AM NOT COMING BACK! LEAVE ME ALOOOONE!!

AJ: Yo dude, chill! I Don't want you to come back!

Kevin: Oh...really?

AJ: Yeah, rehab taught me, for the third time, that I have to let go of things if I wanna be happy. Dude, listen up, I need you to go back into the house and log in on your computer!

Kevin: What's makes you think I'm not inside my house?

AJ: You're done shooting that soft porn movie of yours, aren't you?

Kevin: It's NOT PORN, it's a movie about the hypocrisy of society back in the 60's and...

AJ: .And cooking casseroles and fucking your neighbor's wife, got it! Now leave the grass alone and get your lap-top!

*Kevin goes inside the house and logs into website given by AJ*

Kevin: Now what?? If you guys wanted me to know that Howie has an album, Nick has an album, you went to rehab, there's a noisy project about Backstreet you could have just tell me instead of making me...wait..."The Kevin Bitches thread'?? What the hell?

AJ: YES! THIS! DUDE you still gots DA BITCHES *jumps up and down* How awesome is that?

Brian: *looks at AJ and says a silent prayer*

Kevin: Wow, this is...I mean...yeah baby, this old man still got it huh? *smirks and looks proudly at ugly-ass ring on pinky*

AJ: You still there?

Kevin: Uh...yes... *licks lips loudly and caresses chest while reading the thread*

AJ: Dude, don't tell me...dude, EW what the hell are you doing? Did you just lick your lips??

Kevin: What?? I...NO!!

AJ: *hangs up on Kevin* EWWWW!! EWWWW!!! Fucking EW!!

Howie: So, did he enjoy his thread?

AJ: A little too much, yes! *drops cell phone and shudders*

Nick: *clicks, types, erase, types again* Shit, I can't type!

Brian: What you doing??

Nick: I'm joining TDS! What you think I'm doing??

Brian: Oh Dear Lord, bless his soul....

Nick: All I need is a screen name… *thinks hard*

Nick: GOT IT! *types* “ IHaveAHighCrack”

*Brian falls off of chair laughing*

We've got it going on video review

Welcoming back our vid reiviews! Some of you may already know and love them, other of you may be going... huh? Either way here We've got it going on for your reading enjoyment, link to video under picture.

So... which one will follow next week? Only one way to find out... stay tuned... ENJOY :)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcWngQVAMHc

Ok so we are going way back here! To 1995 to be exact! We have some very young Backstreet action going on here!

0:00 - 1:00
We start off with the boys in a Radio station, DJs must have become more closed-minded these days obviously because it appears they have actually been invited!
Oh and theres five of them! oh yes! Brian starts goofing around and dancing as the lady introduces them, nice to see he hasnt changed.
Howie is standing next to him and looks like a rabbit caught in some car headlights (a very handsome rabbit). They all introduce themselves one by one and from first view we can see that Brian calls himself the Brokster, Howie speaks spanish, Nick is very young and hasnt washed his hair for a few days, AJ much prefers the J part of his name and it appears Kevin may have just had a few beers to steady his nerves.
Then.... Cue the Video.... which they enjoyed, very much!

They're in a room standing next to microphones... there's a lot of hand waving and baggy BAGGY clothes going on here and what appears to be an exercise bicycle in the right hand corner of the room or at least some sort of gym equipment?!
I can only assume this is what they put Brian on between takes to wear him out and stop him bouncing off the walls and getting all hyper.

Then they are on stage, the clothes are again baggy, now I'm wondering if they are all wearing Kevin's clothes?
What happened guys?
Did the rest of you lose your suitcases at the airport?
Did someone steal all of your clothes and perhaps leave you nude?

That's quite an interesting thought, but I'm getting off topic.
The dancing isn't bad: AJ's out front with Howie giving it his all, but I'm still kinda lost in the baggy Sweater with flailing sleeves that appear to have a life of their own.

Howie looks like he's about to go jogging as he struts across the screen in the first shot. Oh, then we get an outside shot with the guys, Brian makes a gesture as if he is about to take flight, very superman, perhaps its time for a go of the gym equipment? However, they are wearing yet more of Kevin's wardrobe.
Kev mate, just take charge! Tell them they are all taking the ****, the clothes are too big, they all look silly and demand your clothes back.

At the end of the first minute, it appears Brian has had to be calmed down yet again between takes as theres a shot of him with part of a set of weights next to him, I guess this was a kinder option than sedating him.
Suddenly Nick and Brian are washing a car! Nick has his hat on sideways, that is sooooo cool dude! Nick gestures at the pretty lady washing the window screen, Brian reminds him he is underage. Then Brian's standing by a motorcycle looking all angry as AJ walks along behind him like ape that has soiled his underpants.


1:00 - 2:00
I've just noticed the number plate of the Jeep says Brok hehehe. Brian obviously likes a clean vehicle!
Cue lots more dancing on the stage in baggy clothes... my god... AJ has HAIR!

They then appear to retreat into some bushes/trees, perhaps this is so AJ can relieve himself after the soiled underpants. They play a little basket ball then start dancing around underneath a ceiling fan, please boys, stop waving your arms above your head!
Do you not have a Health and Safety representative on set? Obviously he left with your stylist: leather waistcoats over denim shirts????? What were they thinking?

Brian's basketball skills appear to have impressed the lady he conned into washing his jeep-- she sprays him in the face with the hose. This video is quite action packed because they then begin a game of pool!


2:00-3:10
Lots more dancing around in the leather and denim combo and then AJ puts his money where his mouth is and bets on the pool game, a lady promptly picks up is money and sticks it down her bra... what a classy bird!

Kevin meanwhile is weight lifting and pouring water over himself, AJ takes a shot at the pool table that even my grandmother couldn't miss and Howie's doing his best Patrick Swayze impression and having a bit of a dirty dance, Howie you are a dark horse!

Kevin then commits grand theft auto by "borrowing" one of the motorcycles and riding around with a lady for all of a second or two. Kevin is rather busy in this section of the video, particularly with dancing (around 2:35 he appears to be waving a plane in to land, despite the fact hes inside).

Whilst this is going on Kevin gets on the phone and appears to ring Brian on his mobile... from the same room, while Howie plays video games? (and people complained the "Straight Through My Heart" video makes NO sense lol).


3:10 - End
Around 3:10ish the boys appear to start doing some ritualistic rain dance with their elbows.

The dancing kicks up a gear, and it's a basket ball themed dance. Yay some hot booty shaking Backstreet action!
AJ wins his pool game and gets his money back, I'm still astonished by the amount of hair he has...I mean had.
They continue to dance around under the ceiling fan, this is NOT "The Perfect Fan" so don't come crying to me if you lose fingers!

Then it's all over, by the motorcycles.
Now I see why the Radio stations dont invite them back, they get a lil side tracked! lol