2.22.2011

Brian's Birthday Diary

You didn't think we'd forgotten Brian's Birthday did you?!? OF COURSE NOT!! We just thought we'd try something new and do a little after the fact/recap of how we imagine B-Rok's B-Day went down in Brazil (wow, that's a lot of B's). Here is the Noisy version of Brian's Birthday Diary ...

Dear Diary,

So I had to spend my birthday in Brazil this year. I thought it wouldn’t be too bad, nice weather, wifey, son and I would just have a nice quiet evening in our lovely hotel room. With the Lord watching down on us how could anything go wrong?

Now it started out ok, wifey and son brought me out a cake on stage. Wifey looked super sexy in her denim overalls, she knows how I like that farmer look. The rest of the boys led the crowd in a rendition of Happy Birthday which was nice. And my son gave me a big hug at the end. We like to be crazy adorable and mushy like that. The cake was of course delicious, although we didn’t eat it ‘till after the show. We like to wait to do that kinda stuff so that fans think they’ll be able to see us coming out. Then we just sit backstage laughing and definitely NOT sharing our cake with them. And when we’re done we just fall asleep and get driven out of there. But this time, since it was my birthday, we decided to stay awake. BIG MISTAKE!

When we got back to the hotel it took us forever to get through the crowd of screaming fans. I didn’t even notice one had attached herself to my leg ‘till she almost got caught in the elevator. Oh the Brazilians. I managed to kick her off but we got stuck on the elevator with Howie who INSISTED on coming back to our room so James could wish me Happy Birthday. There’s an hour of my life I’ll never get back. The kid is ONE!! When they actually got him to “talk” I don’t even think he was saying actual words! Just making random baby noises!! Anyways, we finally got Howie to leave and wifey was just getting the party hats out when we heard banging on the window. Some crazy people had SCALED the building and we’re trying to look in at my party! It took 20 minutes to get security and another 40 to get these lunatics safely off the building. At that point it was getting late and son was getting tired, but we decided we had enough time for a round of pin the tail on the donkey. We were just getting started when Nick came barging in claiming he was bored. We couldn’t get him to leave so we just decided to let him play. That was my second big mistake of the night! After the THIRD time Nick tried to pin the tail on MY behind and then laugh hysterically, I threw his ass out. At that point son was asleep so wifey and I put his ear plugs in, turned the lights off, and decided to get down to business. It WAS my birthday after all! I had just gotten my swim cap on when we heard a noise. At first I thought it was nothing but then we heard it again. Then wifey screamed!! I looked over and saw AJ popping out from under the bed!! He claimed he just wanted to listen but I was outraged and started yelling at him. But then he just started crying about how he was lonely and missed his monkee. We spent the rest of the night consoling AJ who finally fell asleep at 4am in the fetal position between wifey and I.

WORST. BIRTHDAY. EVER!!

God Bless,

Brian


BUT WAIT!!! It's not over yet!! We couldn't just leave you wondering why AJ was under the bed could we?? Here's AJ's Noisy Diary from Brian's Birthday ...


Dear Dizzle Diary,
In Brazil baby! Woah the people here are C.R.A.Z.Y and err.... colorful, but its ok I like transvestites... and gay people... and lesbians ... mhhhhh lesbians...... I really like lesbians. Sex with lesbians.... now that would be.... hmmm...
*crosses out*
Sorry sorry,

Got a little side tracked there. Its Rochelle’s fault... she’s not here. I’m horny... and I have no outlet.
Anyway, moving on ITS BRIANS BIRTHDAY!!! wooohooo! And it’s been a great day! *starts singing birthday sex* Birthday… sex.... *grinds* oh yeah.... hmm birthday sex with lesbians... hmmmm

*Crosses it out* WHAT, sorry. I’m doing it again. *slaps self*

Well we had a great show for Broks birthday... Faceonshirt bought a cake out for him with Baylee and we all sang to him, he looked so happy. It was great. Faceonshirt had these tight demins on... and a pair of hooker boots... ahhh man... Birthday sex... with lesbians... dressed in tight demin and hooker boots *sighs* hmmmmmm

*crosses it out* Sorry... my bad

I dunno what happened but after the show I somehow ended up underneath Brains bed... I don’t know how it happened, last thing I remembered was going in there to find a pair of Leighannes underwear to wear to jack off into.... err..... Wear to..... Err........ Wear...... to... *flusters* BED! err.. Wear to BED! And I ended up under the bed. Howie finally left after what seemed like an eternity but then Nick came in… it was really hard not to scream when he stepped on my hand chasing Brian’s ass with a pin. Did you know Brian wears a swim cap to bed? I wish I had thought of that when I started to lose my hair. Anyway the swim cap thing got me all hot and bothered... Hmmm birthday sex… with Lesbians… dressed in tight denim and hooker boots… with swim caps on… ohhhh man….
*crosses out*
I sneezed… Leighanne screamed
I was fucking disappointed after laying there for hours I was soooo close to hearing some hot sexy action
*crosses out*
I couldn’t explain why I was there, so burst into tears… I miss my monkee, It was so good to let it all out. When I woke up this morning I was in bed in between Leighanne and Brian, I thought that would be ok, until I saw the huuuuuge morning erection that I had … err…. problem with this situation and thought I had better get the hell out of there before Leighanne killed meerr… things got embarrassing.

Anyway I got a busy day, its hot out here in Brazil!
Hot…. Hot like lesbians…. hhhmmmm

AJizzle


Thought we were done? NOT YET!! We've gotta give you Nick's thoughts on the evening!



Dear Diary
,
(er Journal...I'm a guy, guys don't have diaries!)

Its Bri's birthday!!! Yay! I had this awesome plan worked out for after the show, we were going to hit up the best spot in town! That's right, the best place to spend your birthday ... McDonald's!! Brazil has McDonald's did you know that? I didn't. Actually I didn't even know where Brazil was before 2000.

I even went online to check if the tubes in the play center could hold all of our weight. All that awesome work for nothing! Faceonshirt decided to have a "family party". Ugh, you know she even came on stage with a cake for Bri, wearing overalls? Overalls!! I used to wear those things back in the 90's! I'm no fashion maven but I do know that overalls are out of style. So unfair... I wanted a cheeseburger! *pouts* So anyways I decided to crash their little family party after I couldn't find AJ. It was weird he just up and disappeared.

I got there just as soon as Howie was leaving. He was on the phone with James and he didn't let me go into the room until James said bye bye. The kid doesn't know how to talk so it took forever, I eventually just walked away. So, I busted into the room and Baylee wanted me to play "pin the tail on the donkey". Damn blindfold! I remember stepping on something and hearing a crunch and then a slight grumble. That was odd.

Then Brian kept screaming at me because I kept trying to pin the tail on him. Geeze dude, lighten up! It doesn't hurt that bad! Anyways Brian got mad and kicked me out because he and faceonshirt wanted to be alone. You know at first when he mentioned a swim cap I thought he meant ... well you know. Anyways now I'm bored, I wonder what AJ's doing ...


Nick


3 comments:

  1. The stuff on here is just awesome, i can't stop reading =) Can't wait for more!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. now you need Howie's thoughts ;)

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  3. Hey! *waves* this is the first time I have been here and I love it! I really felt like reading THEIR diaries {Nick's journal cause he's a guy lol}
    Very creative and refreshing. Keep up the humor! I'll be coming back for more xoxo

    ReplyDelete