Backstreet Bunnies - Part 3

Well, Candidate #2 (aka Howie D) seems pretty professional and responsible. Although he seems to have a stalker in this "Nick Carter" character. Let's see what Candidate #3 has to offer ...

And be sure to check back tomorrow to see our FINAL Easter Bunny Candidate.

Candidate #3

Name: Alexander James McLean AKA: AJ, Jizzle, Johnny No Name, Skulleez, Monkee...

January 9, 1978

Yes … and a LOT of it with my Monkee!

Ummm … around 5'8 I think ...

I am an entertainer, have been for years, so I think that counts as experience. What could possibly be different entertaining a bunch of kiddies in an oversized bunny costume? I CAN floor hump in it, right?

Why do you think you would make a good Easter bunny and why do you want this role?
Well, despite my tough, outer appearance, I LOVE kids. I’m really good with my friend’s son Baylee … the kid LOVES me!

What does Easter mean to you?
I know the whole hoopla surrounding it, but I look forward to time with my family and my Monkee!!

How many carrots do you eat in a week?
Probably not very many ... besides, Nick steals all the veggies cuz of that damn macrobiotic diet he sticks to. I swear the man has shit himself a few times … WOW! And don’t touch his poo ... it gives you pinkeye!!

Are you physically able to hop for long periods of time?
Ask me that 10 years ago and I coulda hopped for hours. I just had knee surgery not to long ago, so no … not for very long now.

Would you hyperventilate when put in a confining costume?
Nah, I can just think of it as a fetish my Monkee has. Plus, I was a bunny last Halloween.

Do you own your own Easter basket, or you need one provided?
No, but I heard that my fellow bandmate’s wife sells them in her Easter collection ... I can get one from there.

Would you be prepared to sign a disclaimer absolving us of responsibility if you are violently assaulted by young children?
Are you kidding? I’m a BACKSTREET BOY! I’ve been violated by kids, had my hair ripped out (yes!! I HAD hair at one time!), my clothes ripped off. So no, no disclaimer needed.

Have you any prior experience as an animal?
I’m kinky...but not THAT kinky!

Do you have a criminal record?
Nope ...I’m clean.

How many eggs can you paint in an hour?
A lot ... I will just pretend they are my fingernails!

Please provide a reference:
My Monkee, my mom and her hubby, my bandmates and I have a ton of fans that will vouch for me!

Any further information:
I may tear the sleeves off the bunny costume ... I always feel the need to be different, so I will buy the costume up front. Hey, I can have my Monkee paint my bald head like an Easter egg? And do my nails in pastels?

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